dream guilt

Started on Friday.

I can tell my dream guilt is at an all-time high because last night I was the last one to leave a theater showing a film noir smash up of some really ancient black and white mystery thrillers that reminded me a bit of Transylvania 6-5000, and Lisa Marie Bowman was on stage left in front of the final curtain (think Elvira), writing in a journal at a desk (which we could read on the screen showing through the curtain), something about leaving her heart in "309", whatever that was. In the dream, I walked home around midnight and found I was living alone in a big decrepit house, and the moon shone through all the windows so brightly that I could see how dusty everything was in the dark. I pulled a double paned window shut, then wandered through that big house looking for distant singing, which turned out to be Lisa singing in the shower o_O and I decided maybe I'd better just go make a sandwich while I waited for her to get out so I could ask her what 309 means.

The first thing popping into my head during a feeble attempt at analysis is I paid kiddo to climb up on my kitchen counters this week to vacuum my soffits and we ran right into Jingle, her elf on a shelf, stuffed into a cupboard above the fridge and the rest of the day was filled with joyous dancing and singing and twirling in gloves and with tongs. If you guys have no idea, all I can say is that is the most successful brain training marketing ploy I've ever witnessed. Anyway, pretty sure that's where the dust in the dream came from, I have literally been dusting my entire house this last few days.

The moonlight was striking in the dream, pretty sure that was from looking at loads of moon photos people uploaded this last month, latest being the strawberry moon. I'm surprised the midnight dream house wasn't creepier, since I had recently joined and then fled an architecture-shaming FB group, but I can see most of it was in black and white, like an old movie, and the kitchen was a gross faded mustard yellow with 60s tile and appliances. I never saw the bathroom since Lisa had the door shut while she was belting out really old showtunes in the shower. I quickly retreated before she could start on the Oklahoma! soundtrack, which was actually my mom's favorite. I heard those songs hundreds of times growing up.

Not a clue what 309 could have meant. I've written before how math and symbols in my dreams wind up being really weird and way off the reality mark. Angel numbers say 309 is the bomb, urban dictionary says 309 is the epitome of suckage. WAIT. Just found legit 309 at Adjustment Disorders, with or without Anxiety and Depression: DSM5 Code 309 (traumadissociation.com). o_o Wow, is my brain trying to tell me something? Well, I didn't exactly know this, so... weird. Well, my dx relating to that is written out, I don't remember seeing a code next to it, but that's a pretty good bullseye.

309.0 F43.21 With depressed mood: Low mood, tearfulness, or feelings of hopelessness are predominant.

309.24 F43.22 With anxiety: Nervousness, worry, jitteriness, or separation anxiety is predominant. 

309.28 F43.23 With mixed anxiety and depressed mood: A combination of depression and anxiety is predominant. Read more: http://www.traumadissociation.com/adjustment

Compare that to my dx.

2007- Axis I clinical disorders of adjustment disorder with anxiety, axis II deferred but with narcissistic feature, axis V GAF of 60.

2008- depressed mood with congruent affect, Asperger's, GAF of 50. Note by panel "These impairments are not slight and have more than a minimal effect on the claimant's residual functional capacity found below. Consequently, they are "severe", as set forth" etc.

I mean, that's me most of my life, occasionally squashed down by filters of numbness, apathy, and anger. This last year has grown markedly better (thank you, #TomCavanaghwatch? lol I dunno, honestly I've processed so much since Dad died that I don't feel so stuck in the past anymore) (and probably because pulling out of a massive vitamin D deficiency, which affects your brain).

Sorry, Lisa, it's not you, it's me. No idea why you wound up in my shower while I ran off to make a sandwich.

But yeah, I never hang out with late night movie gang any more and I miss them almost dreadfully sometimes. My life just doesn't fit that angle and I feel sad about it, but I don't know what to do or say.

So I dream about Lisa in my shower... 

@_+

In other news, looks like we're finally going to get our roof done. Nothing like being the only house on the entire street that didn't get approved for hail damage, and we stick furthest up into the sky. Despite his pleasant personality, we got a real dick for our first insurance adjustor. That happened last March, new roofs already all around us, and now here it is heat of summer and nearly vacation time, and they finally agree we need a new roof.

Now it's Saturday evening and I'm about to crash into bed super hard, but I stopped to look at numbers because it's brain candy and my brain was being a whiny kid, and as I looked at the same batch for the hundredth time I noticed maybe it really is getting spelled out, like I sarcastically prompted should happen because I'm too busy to figure it out myself.

Possible interpretation. I could be way wrong, or way mental because I'm so sleepy, but here goes, if I'm coming to the right conclusion, this is confirmations galore. I'm keeping it cryptic for reasons.

I 'win' because I'm right because I'm able to see outside myself. Or, I get to advance because I'm not tied to this density any more.

I'm on point about the simulation coming to an end, and those involved can't advance (sadly, I had asked).

I am being checked on and synched into others further along, and what I'm receiving through the simulation has been apurpose.

It really is amusing.

[They] can't see or find me.

Hang in there.

Stay focused on remembering who I am.

I'm here for a good reason and the people I care about need me.

I don't think the barrage of fireworks going off prematurely is going to keep me awake tonight. Later, taters.

:edit: The next day. I think the old house is twitter.

TommyG's rose petal comms

 

The rest of this post is a repeat from nearly a year ago. The cached account I linked within has been scrubbed since I published it.

The rest of this post is extremely distasteful, but it is a documentation of something someone else was trying to share about something very sad before it was deleted. I myself, having been entrenched in entertainment blogging for years, was very upset to find a lot of this stuff out, and I feel terrible for everyone caught in that big mess. Everyone. I blame the deep state, shadow govt, whatever you want to call the highest elite on our planet that toys with running our nations, our economies, our health care systems, our 'freedoms', our debt loads, and our entire lives with their sick game of Risk. This goes even above names like Rothschilds. We don't know their names. They are *that* rich.

I do apologize, but for the love of God, if you aren't ready for your world to tip upside down yet, please just close this page. Sorry it spun out of control, but this stuff is imminent on the horizon of reveals now, and the disclosures have been withheld, for the most part, because Q deemed too many would not be able to handle it. It's just too sad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This happened, a real person was actually admitted to psyche ward over political affiliation. You guys think this can't happen in America? Reconditioning has begun. My own psychologist also approached this with me as being a dangerous cult, despite my research showing that the 'leader' of this 'cult' was legitimately deconstructing international human and child sex trafficking rings and rescuing women and children by the tens of thousands all over the world with the help of an Alliance working together to take down the Deep States with NESARA law. Anyone who wants this 'cult' to stop needs to realize they are standing for the sanctioning of normalizing pedophilia and using children as commodities. Let that sink in for a bit. Click the snip to see the thread.

I've lost friends over this, so it's not going to bother me what any of you think. Believe what you will, it's all out there. Start digging. I didn't spend 2 1/2 years digging to shut up about it, and neither did the other millions of us all over the world coming together for truth.

Sorry if I sound defensive, just it really pissed me off that my intelligence and mental health comes into question over a party affiliation long after I keep reminding people I didn't vote for Trump.

Truth is the truth is the truth. If you guys knew what the rose stood for you'd throw up. (Think Plato's cave.)

The following account has been suspended but it still cached. I'm about to lay some on ya. I know some of you might hate on the messenger here, but I've been so sickened with real photos over the last 2 1/2 years that I absolutely do not care any more what anyone thinks of me. This shit is real, it's everywhere, and you not believing it won't change it. I didn't want to believe it, either. That's why I kept digging, to find the real conspiracy, who started this crap. You know what? This way of life is older than we all are. You will not understand it until you can wrap your brain around entertainment being a propaganda tool for the masses, and the shadow govts using that tool are also harvesting children for more profit than drugs and guns. Children are expendable, renewable resources for a highly sought prize, and that is the saddest thing our little blue planet has ever produced in all of human history.

Remember the visual of a queen bathing in the blood of virgins.

This next snip will click out to her tweet.

That meme on its own. I'm not the only one with a copy, all you have to do is search keywords and then click to images.

This next snip clicks out to the painting on instagram.

Remember that Oprah once strongly promoted John of God.

Link- "What storm, Mr. President?" "You'll find out."

Acute drug withdrawal isn't cute. Adrenochrome is said to be the world's most potent drug.

Q told us to learn the comms....

I guess some of the links broke in the cache, or perhaps gifs.

I could name a couple scifi actors who suddenly died of really weird causes in the last few years that I think will one day be known as murder victims (unrelated to this next snip). In the meantime, you try to say anything, and it gets canceled out of existence. Imagine an AI algorithm so big it can cancel out you trying to say what you think about something shocking going on. Kinda like a mass lobotomy...

No one thinks to delete Urban Dictionary... Since I'm on that, here, go look up Rose there. Also have these lyrics to Adrenochrome Dreams. Now go look at these 'rose with blood' art depictions. Rose petals are blood drops. 

A-list actors are rewarded with really good drugs. Many of them are born into controlled families. Many of them are genetically related to other upper crust echalons, such as presidents. As I wrote in a breeze of change flicking the leaves, this is not a conspiracy any more.

This next snip clicks to the tweet.

free energy reveal

Leaving little love notes around the house for your husband to find, like you do 

 Got that puzzle done!

In case you've never seen yucca fleurs.

Facebook has finally found a way to trap me and hold me against my will.

Legit my new granddaughter foreshadowing her wise old woman look someday.

Srsly, that wisdom just jumped off the screen right at ya, didn't it? 😂 Imagine a husband in her future getting this face at him, his knees'll buckle and he'll say "Yes, ma'am". 

When her mama was just born she locked the biggest stink eye you ever saw on a baby right at me. I think she has successfully cloned her attitude now on the next generation. Run for your lives, this is the legendary Van Helsing you all keep hearing about.

May have just outed my YabloVH. I always tell people it's Van Halen. 

Rats, I'm not incognito anymore... 🤔 

Oh, well. No one's paying attention anyway. 😉

Watch another big stat swoop happen now. Bets on countries, place your bets right here, as they say.

That's right, I was a vampire hunter in a past life. Pretty sure we're not surprised by now. They wanted me dedded but I keep sneaking back in. 

My entire blog history just quietly clicked and made total sense to about five of you. 

I started this several days ago and left it dangling. My life has already moved way on. Big weekend coming up, you know the drill. I'm busy *yadayada* watching a kid after summer school is out *yadayada* actually working on a list of review stuffs in between thangs *yadayada* keep your groceries stocked and your gas tanks topped off *etcetc*.

We got a free energy reveal today that really should be going viral all over the globe, but you know how it goes, unless you're paying attention, it all slides by like it's not even real.

We love watching it on sci-fi, and we could be having this in real life, but everyone is too busy, too distracted, and too disillusioned to stand up and demand it. You guys realize how many of us are actually good people in this big country, right, and we could literally all just stand up and literally demand anything we want. Literally. There aren't that many cabal minions compared to We The Masses of People.

Think about it. Because it's real.