-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero at PinkyGuerrero, Pinky, Janika, Basically Clueless & this blog PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Monday, August 31, 2020


I dreamed that word in the title. In the dream it meant people who have aged on rose blood. Not sure how my head comes up with what it does. It would be like geriatric chroming, perhaps, where chroming would come from adrenochrome, with no one being the wiser of their true age.

I've heard there are some really old people on this earth. I have no problem believing that.

I haven't read this. I ran into it during a search.

There are more links as well if you put that title into search. Interestingly, these links go in maddening circles. Google Chrome absolutely refuses to take me to any site describing this as a product. These people under the book titles aren't the authors.

Here is the real product and the real author.

Ask yourself why this book is so hard to get to and costs so much.

I wrote a post awhile back that included rose petals being the code for child blood. You have to scroll down a little bit.

random real life update stuff

I don't care if you guys don't believe any of that. There is so much evidence out there now of child trafficking that goes from worldwide tunnel rescues right to the tippy top in corrupt governments all over the world. Human farming for products is very real, very sickening, very prolific, and very much saturating everything we see on screens all day, so if you can't see it or believe it, it's because you have been so conditioned NOT to see it that you literally just can't. Personally, that idea terrifies me as much as the idea of children being sold for blood products. It's literally in our fiction and in our faces our whole lives, and we are in comas like a bunch of cattle while people are getting mega rich off us and keeping us in our comas.

Pay attention.

Saturday, August 29, 2020

back to work!

Out my bedroom window, rain coming
Big dark wind and hard downpour right after I loaded this

I used to keep a list of all the projects I left hanging. Not a clue where it might be nowadays. Doesn't mean I don't care, just don't feel guilty any more. I never knew where that came from for years, this weird self inflicting judgement. Now that Pinky and Jacky have made up, it's really rare to feel that any more. You know, for people checking the blog list for updates. I really do have quite a list of things, I could be updating them all.

Doxy is done, finally. My nose is normal again. Just in time for ragweed!!! I'm doubling down on the zyrtec. 

Ok, that's just irritating. My phone can't learn to spell something I write every single day, but it can learn to misspell zyrtec and retain it forever. 

I have barely been on mo creatures server all summer, partly because being off gabapentin now, I can't sit very long in the kitchen chair, it sucks. Also new glasses and sinus and then doxy had me seasick with the monitor. Times I did get on I started cashing out my 3 year stash of lapis blocks and put a couple claims up for sale. Cleared out, sized down, and abandoned a few others. Way too many projects to ever complete. Now I'm preparing to sell down and close out my shop, really burned out on shop keeping. Might keep a smaller area for one-off sales or something if needed. I do so much over the top, it becomes soul grinding work instead of lighthearted play.


Last batch of fresh salsa for the year. Rest of the maters are small and harder to ripen, so dry and hot. Well, we got that rain today, but that won't save anything at this point. Kinda in the mood for autumn to come on, gotta get through another month first.


The headache is finally gone, yay!!! I get those intracranial pressure headaches with it sometimes, this last time was a little rough. Add that to the other stuff I was talking about the other day about fetal hydrocephalus and resultant empty sella syndrome being associated with headaches, plus I had a sinus infection headache underneath all that, I feel pretty big kid that I didn't whine the entire last couple weeks about a headache. 😁 I just checked. Before this post I said the word 'headache' 3 times in the last 24 days. ✋👍💋

Spent part of the day researching Tom stuffs (srsly cool guy), got my workout game back on, kinda dove into another Harley search when the rain hit, and the usual chores and cooking. Not a bad day at all.

Friday, August 28, 2020

being a TV reviewer during the time of Qanon

I made this in 2006, click for verification

I knew sooner or later I'd be writing this post, but I've been putting it off for a couple of years. Anyone following me around social medias or hitting my blogs knows I'm with the Qanons, and that I've gone the extra mile here and there on my own little digs, sharing and sourcing other digs, and widely avoiding tying this to the myriad of fan networks, actors/artists, and content and film creators I've crossed paths with for many years.

I am the middle road. I am the bridge between the 'cultist' qanons and the 'fake' mainstream media. I have a weirdly unique perspective on what is happening from many angles (keeping in mind I've equated myself with Douglas Adams' electric monk, which can believe 16 different conflicting things without exploding, vis a vis "truly excellent at believing the most preposterous things"), and at some point, given my beliefs about transparency and truth and the reality of things in the illusion we live in, I feel it is my duty as a Q fan to come clean with my real opinions.

I pointed out in 2014 in my The Walking Dead- What would you do to survive? post that what we go through watching our favorite TV shows is a real time roller coaster of shared emotion, bonding us to each other and the characters and impacting our real lives.
We watch TV shows with lots of death in them. Some of us watch people kill each other almost nightly. Why? Have you ever asked yourself WHY we watch these shows? And then we develop all kinds of big feelings while we sit on our couches drinking our beverages and eating our snacks and think Wow, that was a good show! And then we reel off to bed, content and satiated, with a nagging anticipation for another thrill ahead in the next episode. I call this experience addiction. Those of us with comfortable enough lives to be able to tweet how bored we are while we watch television are severely experience deprived. We no longer have a bedroom with an old person dying slowly in a bed at home, we no longer have to skin and gut our own meat, we don't have to watch the windows for tribal warfare where wives are raped and children are taken if you don't throw down on the spot. I can't say this categorically, because some people also drag home from bloody days at work or the streets, but I'm generally saying that the reason we get hooked on TV shows with lots of death in them is because our emotions get jerked around. Emotions are the surges of chemicals racing through our bodies when we see stuff happening on our screens, even though we aren't personally involved. Emotions bring us into the story, entice us to take sides, back favorites, and debate about decisions and consequences. Emotions seal the deal on owning it. Death is a very emotional thing. The Walking Dead has certainly explored death from every conceivable angle to the point where the audience suffers when they aren't getting their weekly hit. Experience addiction.
If you like that, I followed it up with The Walking Dead- Overthinking Zombies. I take my TV watching extremely seriously.

Lexx fans know I've tackled this idea before, that we are drawn into TV shows and emotionally identify with characters while we process our own real lives on the side. This is from my link column on the main fan blog.
 How Big is the Lexx? Because we want to know
 the sounds of LEXX- info, downloads, soundtracks Collectible soundtracks. 
 You Can’t Handle Watching LEXX Not your typical sci-fi
 The Dark Zone and the Cycles of Time Physics and the cycles of time. 
 Why Lexx Is Important Critical thinking skills... 
 the coolest LEXX t-shirt in the world Fans want what they want
 Why Lexx Is Personal Identifying with the characters
 Speculation on Boron-7, Insect technology, and the scientists who engineered the political lockdown through religion

Essentially, I am known throughout a worldwide fandom for deep think analysis and real life application for over 20+ years now. I cover everything from sexuality to physics and all the dirty stuff in between, including religion and politics. I'm not afraid to 'go there'. I have a reputation for spurning other one-off TV reviewers over blowing Lexx off as a 'sex in space' show.

Lexx wakes people up. I believe that is why it was contracted into Syfy properties (featurettes) and then bundled and shelved, allowed to fall out of print. I could be completely wrong, but it weirdly disappeared during a very touchy period of world political history without so much as a nod from Syfy execs during a 20th anniversary show on Syfy channel. Why?

Perhaps it was too soon to come out openly as cannibals. Perhaps it was too soon to talk about politically and religiously sanctioned sex slaves. Perhaps it was way too soon to bring up state raised children and mass genocide and a state run judicial machine with an agenda.

It's one thing to talk about this in a TV show, it's another to start pointing out how this obviously relates to real world. Walking Dead fans are lulled to sleep every week. Lexx fans bolted wide awake.

Getting back to the entrance of Q on our horizons. In 2018 everything was still way up in the air. I spent months digging and vetting the questions in Q drops being dug up and sourced by Qanons. I asked the hard questions, like what if Q is a double psyop to completely lock the rest of us holdouts into NWO lockstep? What if Q was some horrible nightmare LIE? I was sick to my stomach.

I finally settled around May 2018. Q is real. I had enough information to nail down that this was, indeed, a military op with the sole agenda of getting information out to a very bewildered and sadly hopeless public watching the last gasps of freedom slip down a very nasty drain. I watched millions of people around the world rise over the summer of 2018, crescendoed with whispers and rumors of JFK Jr still being alive. I watched the widening disparate gap between knowledge empowered anons and the general public still following mainstream media news and propaganda entertainment designed to callous and close down critical thinking in lieu of mockingly hateful meming, as if memes are proof of right and wrong, good and bad. And then I watched anons bring the Meme Wars, and the sad hopelessness surged into joyful uprising against intellectual tyrrany.

I had big plans for TV reviewing. I was pretty popular on twitter, as evidenced by stats from hit driven links. I had fans. I loved everything about watching TV with my friends and writing about it, but once that widening gap between TV fans and political reality showed up, I had to choose a side. I quickly realized that trying to stay neutral would be not only self defeating (I really did try to stay neutral), but would ultimately shove me into an extremely sad corner pocket of the internet where I would be literally standing up for child trafficking. That put me into a quandary for months. I love my TV characters, but dammit, real life stars were becoming so hateful online that I couldn't in good conscience support them any more. Others went into a sort of virtual hiding, and I understood why. After all, they were caught in an industry where one wrong move, one wrong sentence on twitter gets you fired, ends your career. While some celebrities, directors, and producers got away with saying the most offensively outrageous things, others curled up and played super straight doing their best not to be eaten alive by hateful qanons learning the truth behind worldwide trafficking networks that had been committing crimes against humanity for decades, covered with glitz and glam and all the shiny of the big propaganda machine.

Harvey Weinstein is real. That is nothing to laugh about. Several celebrities have been trying to secure enough financial backing to take him to court for years because their lives have been so ruined and controlled by him, literally citing rapes and forced abortions for their careers.

Dear blogger- This continual word by word backup to the cloud while I'm typing is very distracting, please give it a rest. #liveblogging P.S. If I accidentally tab a paragraph out of existence, that instant save is what loses my content, so really, stop it. 

Yes, someone reads along with me while I type. I don't know if it's AI or a real person, but I've had enough evidence that if I'd been recording, you guys would flip. One time they literally removed paragraphs without me even touching the keyboard.

Ok, where was I?

So here I am in 2018 weighing options- Shall I continue review writing like nothing is happening? Shall I try to balance that out with commentary in other places? Shall I straddle the fence and hope for the best? What resolved those questions for me was so much more incredible information being dug up and sourced by anons that most of 2019 was me chucking aside TV reviewing for hard research into underground Hollywood, decades of progaganda, again, sourced back to the CIA war machine before I was even born, and realizing the we've all been very slowly and meticulously indoctrinated to the point of acceptance of just about everything that crosses our eyes. Eating babies? Impossible, that can't be real. Until you see slews of actual photo, video, and military/police documentation of dead kids by the thousands, tens of thousands.

The thought of why in the world they were doing that made me very ill, even though I've been transparent about an entire childhood filled with death. Parts of me are completely numb inside, if not dead. I have a condition called delayed emotional processing that allows me to handle looking at things that make other people very sick, or so intensely shocked that they instantly disbelieve and turn away. Even so, I spent the first three months of 2019 weeping through the night, every single night. I did not sleep. And I realized that the things I'd been seeing in fictional movies and TV series was all true.

We think it's fun being entertained by horror. Some people think it's so fun that they pay to watch real human abuses online. You know how people get upset all over twitter or facebook because someone hurts a dog or cat and thinks it's funny? Imagine that happening to babies and little kids. Imagine that happening to old people. Imagine seeing kids being mutilated and raped like a live TV show after you found out a neighbor up the street has a child missing and no one can find it.

So yeah, I'm in a dilemma. To review or not to review. Who to review. Who to pretend is still innocent enough to review. Who to promote (for free, I'm not a paid writer) while hoping they don't wind up being one of the celebrities who not only looked the other way over what they knew, but helped cover for it? My own reputation is on the line. How can I promote anyone during this big messy information war?

Case in point. After Ellen dropped her Giggerota handle on twitter, I nabbed it so some weirdo couldn't turn it into a fetish parody account. And now that cannibalism is hitting mainstream (thank you, Katy Perry), I'm on really touchy ground even joking about that in a character account because of what I know from the Qanon digs. Cannibalism is very real. So is human leather. So is pay to play sex with kids. Snuff is alive and well, excusing the disgusting pun. So.. Now what? Keep promoting a cannibal on a TV show played by someone who was married into the tippy top of the broadcasting industry? The kindest thing I can do is just politely step back and not draw that kind of attention to a celebrity I care very much about. I have felt terrible and just stayed way back from contact. This was a person who used to DM me on facebook. I watched her world crumble when her husband died, I watched a very confused fandom realize she'd been married this entire time and never talked about it, and I've been watching her working hard on keeping her career together through this tragic loss in her life. The last thing I want to do is anything that will make anything for her worse. I absolutely could not in all good conscience cross that stream with anything Qanon, and so I have remained quietly noninteractive as much as possible as a fan on social medias, including my fan group.

And this has been noticed. My stats between Lexxperience and people finding Qanon materials in my other blogs has been fairly phenomenal. Again, like I used to say Pinky was more popular than Lexx, Pinky talking qanon has been wildly more popular than Lexx, and when I see those stats crossing streams into Q territory and not only staying but coming back checking religiously, I can see some of you either wondering what is going on or perhaps feeling this weird pain I'm in handling this situation.

And then covid hit. Covid ground filming to a halt. After watching L.A. burn last year, I watched Hollywood go dead this year. The facade is still going, of course. The illusion is still about keeping up appearances, but behind the scenes, lives are being wrecked, some people are getting arrested, celebrities are either rising up in the media wars or laying low hoping it passes over without some kind of weird death. Do you guys realize celebrities are more likely to die than any other profession? Do you guys notice there are patterns to celebrity deaths? I was bringing this stuff up before Q ever happened. The celebrity death announcement as a way of life is appalling, shocking. Our entire nation can stumble out of bed and be stunned before coffee just reading a death announcement screaming at them from every conceivable source on our phones. This happens so often that we barely even blink any more. We dread it, but we expect it. We weep, but we go on. Celebrities are like TV shows, they are 'forever'. They are magazine content and news content and live on in their work for decades beyond their deaths. I cannot tell you how much that bothers me, especially when they 'hang' themselves from doorknobs or other low places. Being a celebrity is one of the riskiest jobs anyone can have, and we've all been hushed not to talk about that.

I'm firmly on the side of stopping the child trafficking and the cover ups by Hollywood, political figures, multinational CEOs, and more. But I'm still human and on the side of humans. I don't believe in dividing up into hate camps over what people have done. That is a brain training leftover from the propaganda machine. People who lump groups into hate are still doing what they have been brain trained to do.

I have finally stepped out on a limb this summer. I did a rewatch marathon of The Flash, a show that I love so much that it shows up in my tweets going back years. Years. Of all the shows I've live tweeted, that one is my absolute favorite. When a discussion came up on a Q discord about a particle accelerator accident in a pipeline, I was all Wo, I saw that on TV. Well, there is some contention among others as well as my own growing conclusions over the years that truth is buried in fictionalized broadcasting. We are exposed to information that is quite possibly actually real, but it's been storied up to keep us 'asleep'. We then carry that seed with us and auto reflect that everything is fiction when it comes up in discussion. New science? Nah, that was on a TV show. Catastrophic science? Get real, that was a TV show. Possibility? Lol, that was a science fiction story.

I've been complaining for years that my high IQ friends keep staunchly defending 120 year old science with Neil DeGrasse Tyson memes. Their brains are capable, but they seem to be locked into a state of disbelief. If Neil himself doesn't let them know new science is ok, it must be conspiracy. Who controls science? The money does. Who has the money? The elites. What do the elites want? More money, control, power. When will we get cool new science that actually solves famines, terminal illnesses, and debt? Never.

Case in point. There is such a thing as free energy, and there are ways they could be getting it to all of us all over the world. That would solve so many problems, wouldn't it? Why then do we not have free energy? Because someone makes too much money keeping us on a grid of purchased energy.

Back to The Flash. I love that show. Funny how a lone scientist can have a particle accelerator built in the middle of a city and we all just accept that as a logical premise because it's fiction. Of course that could never happen in our world as we know it. Particle accelerators are few and very far between, and require lots and lots of something that we can't put our finger on. Like permits or something. Right? 

See, if we don't actually look things up while we watch TV shows, then we accept what they put into our brains without resistance. We don't learn, we assume. Particle accelerators have been around for nearly 100 years. Did you know that?

So in The Flash, there was an accident in the pipeline. T Aaand there goes my first #liveblogging boop. Must be onto something important, and you guys aren't supposed to be using your own brains, hang on while I replace what poofed out. Pic and link back in place, where was I?

So in The Flash, there was an accident in the pipeline. That was stated every single season at multiple points, 'in the pipeline' was an automatic part of the verbiage throughout the show. Imagine my surprise when a real person who'd never seen the show and knew stuff about particle accelerators mentioned a future accident in a particle accelerator pipeline. Among a very small subset of what most people would call conspiracy theorists, there is a real discussion about time looping because of a real accelerator accident, and that this is why people are experiencing Mandela effects and other things. There are a number of scifi shows that filmed really excellent stories about time looping and how it is or isn't solved. My favorite is Star Trek Generations Cause and Effect. Stargate SG-1 had a really cute version called Window of Opportunity. The best entire series based on this concept in my opinion is Continuum. I've been paying close attention to time looping stories ever since I read the original A Sound of Thunder in middle school. It's funny how often time looping actually comes up in fiction, kinda like we're already preconditioned to accept it as a possibility.

Why am I obsessed with time looping? I have been for nearly all my life. Obsessed.

And then there is Lexx, wherein the entire premise is the cycles of time repeating themselves, and I go on to demonstrate how that cycle was finally broken.

So that discussion about the pipeline is somewhat recorded for posterity on my Janika blog at https://janikabanks.blogspot.com/2018/12/soooo-much-happening-hard-and-fast-but.html.

Soft disclosures are information leaks in quiet places. There are ways to disclose very real technologies currently beyond the grasp of our everyday lives by embedding them into stories. Anyone who really loves developmental science will question why we don't yet have what we are very capable of creating. The answer to every question of that type is "follow the money". And the deaths. Lotta inventors tend to die mysteriously or suddenly, leaving their patents or intellectual properties up for grabs. How many times have water fueled cars been invented? At least 3 separate times that I know of. Why don't we have water fueled cars? Follow the money.

Everything I write in this kind of TV reviewing can fall under speculative opinion. I can talk all I want about what if, and no one can stop me. When you factor in that I put this kind of discussion on blogs where I also openly admit what my mental assessments have been with a real psychologist, anyone can blow me off as 'crazy'. Add that I'm in no way monetized, bingo, I can get away with quite a lot. I can write Disclaimer- Everything I'm writing in this post is my own opinion and doesn't reflect on cast and crew of any film product being discussed, and I hit gold.

Most TV reviewers can't do that. I can cross all the streams I want and my blogs are seen worldwide. I have proof of that every single day. So why haven't I crossed the Q streams with my reviewing? I've lightly hinted, being careful not to disturb any sensibilities for those readers who would very much like me to stick with just entertainment, BUT much of my traffic is here for Qanon material. In fact, most of it. There are some oddly doggedly persistent followers that still want more Lexx and haunt me weekly if not every day to see if I've even mentioned it, but by far, the strongest readership this last year has been people more interested in current 'conspiracy theory' politics.

So I'm dragging The Flash into one of my twitter timelines this summer and realizing how much 'conspiracy' is happening throughout that entire show, every single episode. I'm not against the cast at all, love them to pieces, and the whole film crew does most excellent work. But I have started wondering- Who picks out the jewelry, particularly for Iris? Because her jewelry is consistently Illuminati style symbolism, from pyramids to black cube. Who picked out Nora's daily outfits? Because some of her tops are very suspiciously dark culty. Why is the Flash lightning symbol turned on it's side during the in between scene logos? I come up with dozens of questions and freeze frame constantly because I can't believe what I'm seeing.

And who in the world wrote their 'pandemic' episode? It aired before covid, but everyone was freaking out wanting vaccinations.

I pointed out a few posts back that Godspeed was beat out only by the mainstream media, making it look very conspiratorial.

disclaimer- anyone can take a picture of their TV set with a phone

I could very easily have gone the way of The Vigilant Citizen and started listing all the ways The Flash triggered symbolic responses. For the most part I have chosen to remain dedicated to story content and the characters. I love this show, the stories have been around for decades, and the way they are being reimagined into film now is very satisfying. Like Gotham was for me last year. My Gotham bender was like no other, but I finally pulled out of it and now I'm in The Flash mode.

And since I'm #TeamWells from way back (that clicks to my own twitter hashtag feed for that), I have finally done something I have only done with two other actors in my whole life, and that is find everything they filmed and watch it all. The first was Jackie Chan, the second was Johnny Depp. The third is Tom Cavanagh.

I'm taking a huge risk. Aside from obviously seeing now many movie titles are the typical word symbology for a side of the industry that might be keeping him close to the vest, he seems to be doing the politically correct things on cue on his instragram. He's not gone off any weird panda-esque deep ends as far as I can tell (that would be very bad), but he's still very much playing the game through his career. I mean, I knew Johnny was going down hard when Q showed up, and it's very possible Jackie could as well (you do NOT reach that level of world fame without capitulating to the correct people), but I'm holding my breath over Tom.

This is what I mean about crossing the Qanon streams into my TV reviewing. I don't know which celebs rising like cream to the tops have ultimately helped keep dirty secrets. I've got hard bets Benedict was never who we thought he was (a breeze of change flicking the leaves). Some actor instagrams go super panda and for those not aware, that is pedo predator signalling. According to what we're learning via worldwide Qanon research digs is that the pedo rings not only infiltrated Hollywood, but literally set entertainment up as part of a CIA propaganda project. They wanted the sheep to follow the stars, as Q says. And they do. If one thing tears our nation apart during this whole pedovore purge, it will be that so many people will be so emotionally attached to actors that they will commit suicide when they find out what some of them have done with their lives.

I don't know if Tom's instagram photos are contrived on demand or done out of innocent support, but to me it all looks very careful. I see no hard evidence yet that he's been roped into something awful, just that he's owned. It looks like he's directed what to do and he does it. He's surviving. And if he believes hook, line, and sinker that the industry he supports isn't this awful thing, he'll probably hate me for even associating him with the idea if this ever gets around, but I'm holding out hope that what he really represents is that part of celebrity that makes it through the purge to go on in future entertainment. I really do.

I can continue to produce review content, and I can continue to avoid crossing the streams, which I dearly would like to do because this has all been so very overwhelming, but to be very honest with my readers, this is why I stopped TV reviewing. Entertainment is very politically entrenched behind the scenes, and as much as I'd love to keep fiction and reality separated, in the end my heart is already broken by the celebrities that played into the awful part just to keep careers (or their lives). A woman confessing during an award ceremony that she gave a baby up in abortion for her career was a sickening thing to say. I lost all respect and will never watch anything with her in it again. I just can't. I could have gone on a long time not knowing that, but because I went through a hellish abortion myself, I cannot follow her into her stardom. To me she is a puppet, and when her strings are pulled, she does as she is told so other people can make money on her career.

I've always been very careful not to accept money or monetize any of my blogging, and now I'm so glad I never did. I feel like I don't have any blood money on my hands. I'm clear of contractual containment. I'm rogue enough to be who I want to be and decide my own fate. I genuinely hope my fave celebrities find this kind of freedom in their futures if they were witty and savvy enough to avoid the entanglements that will be taking others down. I won't be crying for Johnny, turns out he's a dick and did some very bad things that cannot be justified. There are others who I've heard have already been arrested, and some of them break my heart because they've been such a big part of nearly my whole life.

Like I said, holding my breath for what I hope are the good ones to make it. While some out there are point blank calling for death to all pedos across the board (and my first marriage was to a pedophile, I do agree with the sentiment), ripping the giant entertainment brainwashing bandaid off is going to be very hard, regardless. Some will feel lost without their celebrities to hang onto. I want to be kind and remember that some of them were born into this as children and have never been in real control of their lives, which is remarkably sad. 

I do not expect Lexx fans or any other fans or entertainment workers to cheer me on. I am acutely aware that I'm in the ludicrous position to be hated on for saying any of this stuff. I'm also acutely aware of the tunnel rescues that have been going on all over the world for the last couple of years. I will never not feel sick about the fact that humanity could actually stoop that low, ice it over like a cake, and turn it into an entertainment festival on TV for the masses. And I'm effectively the one ruining it for some of you by being the first one you might see really talking about this connection.

The most chilling line I've read since Q showed up is "This is not a game." 

My heart cries more than any amount of hate that could ever be pointed at me for sharing this stuff, and the only way to heal and move forward is to make it all go away. I'm so sorry if that means people I've held dear must go away, too, but honestly, I can't handle knowing anyone that would hurt children like that. It's bad enough if someone kicks a puppy or stomps on a kitty, but to know there are monsters that shred living babies to pieces for sexual gratification is more than I can humanly forgive. Any range of behavior beyond forcing a child through sexual pain and humiliation short of being that kind of monster doesn't make it easier to love a predator. People who defend this are very broken. Sadly, that's quite a lot of people.

This seems to be my theme this year getting through all this. It's hard realizing that my entire life has been shaped by a screen, and that so much of my emotional health has depended on what and who plays on that screen. But that is what we've been trained to do, isn't it? Turn to our screens for comfort.

Thursday, August 27, 2020

this is how you walk away from MSM


Harley Quinn edit

Patiently waiting for my hair to grow out. It's growing fast, but I whacked it like 3 times trying to even some of it up. It was pretty ragged as self cuts go.

omg that is too funny. Someone used a plagiarism checker on my spaz blog. I'm dying. 😂😂😂

I source EVERYTHING I quote. *everything*

If my spaz blog is the one that is ever removed for something like that during this whole Q thing, I'm going to laugh so hard.

Ok, back to coffee and my Ed watch. You guys can find quite a bit on youtube. Not being paid to link or share, just filling up more covid time with distraction.

Wednesday, August 26, 2020


I can usually find anything, and Ed is one of them. There's always someone somewhere in the world recording constantly, and they do really nice jobs of boxsetting entire collections, sometimes even print the series artwork onto the discs. I'm not sure that's legal, so I won't link where I found it ($26 instead of the usual $80+) (oh here you go, $35), but I'm on a quest to find out how many TV series and movies Tom Cavanagh shaves and/or brushes his teeth in. I was at 100% until I watched 400 Days last week (found that one for $4, guys). That was hella creepy, nightmares of Tom Cavanagh are real now. I've been putting off Sublime for a day I feel more capable of handling it. I'm not the Ed type (IMDb) because it's seriously lacking scifi formula, but I have been known to jaunt off into more mundane directions for odd reasons. This is one of them.

In the meantime, I'm watching a friend going through a Sliders rewatch and working with Google to make my #latenightmovie search on the big #pinkyblog crawlable. And in the meanmeantime, I've still got that May post on hold for Lexx.

I think I've finally reached a level of international political security where I'm not running off constantly deep researching, which has been going on for hours a day for 2 1/2 years. I'm not worried. The good guys are winning. I said a long time ago I'd be on the winning side. (Here is a 'winning side' post collection in case you are more than super bored and need help focusing.) Back then I was encrypting and trying to share digs on Illuminati, so I bet you guys thought I meant them. NO. They are not winning. At all. And they suck. I've consistently been pointing out how much they suck for the last 5 years.

But that's what I'm doing and where my head is at, kinda challenging myself with having more fun if I'm going to keep researching. Research fun stuff. Taking a break from the rough stuff. It's been an excruciatingly rough couple of years learning all the tunnel and gold standard stuff, and if you are just now starting on that, bless your hearts, but now you have documentaries springing up and you'll be fine.

Meanwhile watching another hurricane bearing down on my kid... They've been through some biggies, so I'm not that nervous this time.

So in September US dollars will be announced US notes and our banking system will be sparkly fresh. Stimulus will start seriously rolling out sounds like mid Septemberish and way more in October. Blockchain voting will be in place by November. The only thing left is getting the rioters to calm down and getting these masks off. It's all a big showdown out there, childish fit throwing while people wake up and realize how fragile freedom actually is. Time to grow up and pull up our big kid socks.

Here's the Ed pilot if you guys are bored and need distraction walking away from the news mess setting all our tension off. You're welcome.

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

face blindness, calories, instructions, horses

Things I'm still struggling with that I never talk about-

  1. Despite all the vids I've shared and movies and shows I've seen lately, I cannot see Tom Cavanagh's face in my head unless I'm looking directly at him. The prosopagnosia is strong with that one. Joe Flannigan, no problem. I mean, I can at least get a forehead and eyes on him and I'm not even into Joe Flannigan. But yeah, I'm having as much trouble memorizing Tom's face as I had Scott's face and never admitted it for years. Imagine being married for 15 years before you even confess you can't picture your husband's face when you close your eyes and you're sitting right by him. I was born with this deficit, which would explain a lot of my childhood lack of friends. I don't usually think about it very much, but I'm wondering now if this could be related to my weird height projections when I watch TV, although I feel those are more trauma related and the prosopagnosia seems to be a hard drive problem, so I'm not sure how they could be related unless the prosopagnosia is also dissociative somehow. I think the reason this popped into my mind today is because my ENT doctor is very tall and a bit handsome and I'm always surprised like I'm meeting him for the first time, even though I've seen him a number of times over several years. (btw, appointment went great, yay) I can't picture him right now, either. I concentrated hard today on trying to remember, the way I finally got Benedict's face down after a couple years, but it's not working. Some faces just don't stick, even in small sections. I can usually zoom in on something like an eyebrow and then eventually reconstruct like puzzle pieces, but some faces are so slippery they fall out of my head like the Silence as soon as I turn away.
  2. I still can't do simple math since the brain fail in 2004. My reading has finally snapped back fantastically, but I can't even keep a simple calorie count because I mangle the math so badly. My math dyslexia since 2004 is still really off the wall. Remember, I passed college algebra on the first try using an ink pen so I couldn't erase, which the teacher got after me for, citing I was intimidating the other students. I still can't keep addition columns straight. I can multiply in my head if I focus really hard, but I can't add in my head, something I'd been doing with ease since the third grade, or even on paper. Forget subtracting. Dividing seems to work just fine. Not one doctor in all these years has expressed an iota of concern or curiosity. I've asked for help a number of times, and aside from finding out I was being GAF scored by a psychologist, any kind of testing has been brushed off beyond having to remember a set of three or four words for a couple of minutes, and I even messed one of those up and was still pushed out the door.
  3. I can't retain simple instructions from a doctor about anything unless I meticulously write it down. I don't mishear, because I do sometimes remember bits later in the day and realize I got something wrong, but trying to convey this challenge doesn't seem to connect up to how they have to repeat things to me several times because I'm obviously already getting mixed up, and I've been known to call offices back for instructions because the instructions on check out papers were so vague. Despite being able to retain loads of research (visual learning), I can't seem to retain audio instructions.
  4. My short term memory is still horrible, but I'm getting better at hiding it or covering for it. I've been wondering if the memory thing has been a dissociative problem I've lived with all my life but was never aware of it till my brain flopped in 2004. I'm having to work so hard all the time on continuity since then that I can't help thinking I was about as oblivious as a person can be before 2004. That's gotta be why it took me years to pick up on the relevance of my GAF scores. I'd be very interested in what they'd have been pre-2004. Possibly worse? I was living with such restricting mind blinders that everything was black and white, and being a dissociated autism spectrum high IQ kid with PTSD triggers didn't help. I think I've arrived to a place where I can look back and see everything about me was about reactive survivalism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~took a break

Out of the blue it hit me to look up dissociative prosopagnosia. THAT got interesting. If you like weird brain behavioral studies, I hit the jackpot.

Prosopagnosia as a Type of Conversion Disorder (So prosopagnosia is becoming a broader field of study, very interesting.)

Does anyone experience dissociative symptoms? (I was so relieved to find other people talking about this.)

Prosopagnosia is a neurological disorder characterized by the inability to recognize faces.  Prosopagnosia is also known as face blindness or facial agnosia.  The term prosopagnosia comes from the Greek words for “face” and “lack of knowledge.”   Depending upon the degree of impairment, some people with prosopagnosia may only have difficulty recognizing a familiar face; others will be unable to discriminate between unknown faces, while still others may not even be able to distinguish a face as being different from an object.  Some people with the disorder are unable to recognize their own face.  Prosopagnosia is not related to memory dysfunction, memory loss, impaired vision, or learning disabilities.  Prosopagnosia is thought to be the result of abnormalities, damage, or impairment in the right fusiform gyrus, a fold in the brain that appears to coordinate the neural systems that control facial perception and memory.  Prosopagnosia can result from stroke, traumatic brain injury, or certain neurodegenerative diseases.  In some cases it is a congenital disorder, present at birth in the absence of any brain damage.  Congenital prosopagnosia appears to run in families, which makes it likely to be the result of a genetic mutation or deletion.  Some degree of prosopagnosia is often present in children with autism and Asperger’s syndrome, and may be the cause of their impaired social development. 

My mom told me years ago that I was born with water on the brain, which is called fetal hydrocephalus.  I never received follow up care or checkups for that condition, despite my mom describing how round the top of my head was with fluid after I was born, and naturally no mention of surgery. I'm sure my dad would have prevented any and all interference in my 'natural' development.

Around my late 30s, an ER doctor revealed I have empty sella syndrome, which I've always assumed was a result of that fetal hydrocephalus. 
The most common symptom potentially associated with empty sella syndrome is chronic headaches. However, it is unknown whether headaches develop because of empty sella syndrome or are simply a coincidental finding. Many individuals with empty sella syndrome have high blood pressure (hypertension), which can itself cause headaches if severe. (My adult history is rife with high blood pressure and nasty headaches.)

Researchers believe that a defect in the diaphragma sellae that is present at birth (congenital defect) plays a role in the development of primary empty sella syndrome. The diaphragma sellae is a fold of dura mater (the outermost layer of the membranes that line the brain and spinal cord). The diaphragma sellae covers the sphenoid bone where the sella turcica and the pituitary are located. In some affected individuals a tear in the diaphragma sellae allows the underlying membranes to push through (herniate), which allows cerebrospinal fluid to leak out and accumulate in the sella turcica. The pressure exerted by the fluid can flatten or enlarge the sella turcica. 
Prosopometamorphopsia and alexia following left splenial corpus callosum infarction: Case report and literature review (This is unrelated but shows how damage can cause distortion recognition, and if you think about it, I may have had a little damage during development or birth (there were no MRIs back then), although no one has ever noticed splenial infarction on my MRIs.)

Prosopometamorphopsia is known to be caused by splenial corpus callosum infarction . In this case, prosopometamorphopsia likely occurred because facial recognition information was interrupted by the splenial infarction as it was being transferred to the facial fusiform area after being processed in the face perception areas of the occipital lobe.

I had a very very nasty headache in 2004 that lasted for several months (worst part was 6 weeks of sleeping only 2 hours at a time and unable to lie down during that 6 weeks), followed by brain changes that included losing my ability to do simple math, not being able to read for several years, not being able to drive for 4 months, accentuated memory problems and time disorientation, plus cranial nerve damages that resulted in loss of taste and smell for at least two years, unable to make tears in one eye for four years, and continued altered taste and smell. Did I already have a headache syndrome from empty sella that made bell's palsy exponentially more painful?

It was during that time that my prosopagnosia became so noticeable that Scott had to keep an eye on me because I'd follow other people around while we were out shopping. I had never told anyone before that time frame that I'd been unable to remember faces through my whole life. I'd always been smart enough to cover for all my flaws, or didn't even realize I had flaws because I'd already adapted so well. 2004 changed all that. I lost being smart.

So, as I'm sure you can imagine, I'm intensely curious about these brain changes and why I could never get any kind of doctor anywhere interested in finding out more of what was going on with me around 2004. MRIs from before that happened showed no obvious damage other than the incidental empty sella finding, which suggests to me that I was born this way and that all it took was one *something* (illness? poisoning?) one year to cause so much catastrophic loss for me, and it truly is catastrophic when you consider I got a 32 on an ACT test and now I can't even add and subtract correctly, and I couldn't read and retain for several years, much less the memory problems. I have been physically and psychologically dependent on my husband for 16 years because of this. The disability I was granted in 2009 didn't even reflect any of this. I was already autism spectrum with social deficits and severe depression and had been living with fibromyalgia for years before that even happened, and then in 2007-8 I grew so ill with a cytomegalovirus infection that I needed nearly round the clock assistance with everything I did for months. Notice I didn't even bring up the year I was ejected from a flipping car. Piece of cake, right?


So this week I caught myself remembering my secret horse world when I was a kid hating being human. While other kids daydreamed about socializing and becoming someone, I was deep in a fantasy world in which I was a horse. I started a horse board on my other pinterest so I could dig around looking for what I used to daydream about. I'm into black liver chestnuts with fiery manes, although I like them super flaxen, too. The more jet black the chestnut, the better. I had whole families of horses set up in my head during grade school. 

The original page for that is at https://www.wiebke-haas.de/gallery/outdoor/
Very load heavy, had to use a different browser to handle it.

Or here's one.

Here you go, have a playlist. I'm making supper now.

rise up


Today will be a long day in the heat running errands. I keep remembering all the hard work everyone else is doing saving our kids and country and world and feel a little despondent that I don't have more energy, but honestly, if the deep state really has poisoned me with toxic chemicals in my food and vaccines and whatever else they did making us all fat and ugly, I'm just grateful I'm still alive to see this coming.

My gaiters are in the wash, so I'll nab an extra paper mask from clinic when I see ENT. In March I could go anywhere without a mask, within reason. In April and May I could still go most places without a mask, within reason. June was masks off, then July masks back on everywhere regardless of reason. My husband has been working full time this entire time, no masks in the building, everyone scattering home in all directions every night, and not one of them has had covid this entire time. I'm seeing ENT today for abscess in my sinus because masking during allergy seasons literally makes sinus infections worse. I've had some doozy sinus infections from allergies in past years, this is my first abscess. Rebreathing sinus infection air sucks so bad.

Keeping up with the daily updates. Tons of info and links here. https://inteldinarchronicles.blogspot.com/2020/08/restored-republic-via-gcr-update-as-of_25.html

And this guy is really amazing. 

If you're having a rough day, week, summer, year... 💕 I know, it's rough. It'll be over soon.

In the meantime, it really bothers me that no one doing reviews brings up the origin story on Harley Quinn, how she was sold as a child (presumably for sex) and was lobotomized and made into a slave. I see reviews about man hating in the movie, and literally you've got a guy skinning faces off people plus how many of them wanting to cut this little girl open and spill her entrails looking for a diamond she swallowed. You reviewers are pathetic. If you all can't see how literally related this all is to real world, you are the brain dead slaves. [They] literally put it in your face all your lives and you don't see it.

Time to rise up, slaves. Fight like your lives mean something to you.

Sunday, August 23, 2020


Five more days on doxy. 

From a transcript at https://saintandrewstwinflame.com/2020/08/16/charlie-ward-roundtable-trust-the-plan-8-15-20-partially-transcribed-by-kat/

And the video therein.  https://youtu.be/tAGM4o9ibTY

My own thoughts.

And why I'm not worried about the voting.

In between research I keep winding back up closing my eyes while playlists help me space out. This week has felt so long, and I'm craving again, probably because antibiotic on this sinus is right next to my brain. It's hard to wait through the masking mess, it's hard looking for answers, heat and ragweed are hard, and I wasn't born patient. I'm so bored with everything now that I know more. I'm ready for change. I'm excited about the 'Tesla wall' and wondering how fast shopping will change, already thinking how different Christmas might be this year. So close to nearly there. Shutting my eyes and spacing out through this headache.

Thursday, August 20, 2020

the rest of yesterday's convo

from "How an ancient Egyptian god spurred the rise of Trump"

I'm going to continue the convo transfer where I left off yesterday. A question launched me into the rest. "So wait, if the NSA is under alliance control, does that mean that the Snowden disclosure really was controlled opposition to turn the public against them?"

They're calling it a 5D chess game. Chess can be long and difficult with strategic setups and bluffs. What we have been witnessing for several years is a script, according to the Q drops. All of this was carefully planned out, moving pieces into positions to draw out opponent pieces. We have to be able to legally win the game. Can't just go around assassinating bad actors. This is all part of the waking up process for people all over the world. The brainwashed are most at risk, they need to wake up before the rest of the blinders are ripped away. Some could suffer psychological damage if this happens too fast without something for them to hang onto. To find out the Vatican has been purged over child sacrifices, among many other things, to find out our world leaders knew and participated, to find out we were all taken for fools is very shocking. Those of us already waking up before Q were quick to catch on. We searched hard for what the truth of Q was, then researched the entire internet looking for more truth under stacks and piles of algorithms and meaningless distraction. We found things that could break the world. It was awful. We've known for awhile now. I've known JFK Jr is alive for 2 years. Imagine an entire planet locked into a Truman Show.

 Whatever rolls out, trust that the good guys are winning. The NSA is nothing to fear. They've already destroyed the files they don't need for this cleanup operation. More you should fear that world leaders used gaming chat rooms to hold their meetings. Scary that they were among the children talking about how to continue corrupting. When Q42 had Josie and the rest of us there digging on QAI vs regular AI, it was so we'd understand the revalue to gold standard. AI is everywhere in our lives, much of it black hat. QAI money accounts are unhackable white hat bank services. So we are literally starving the black hats out now. Banks all on QFS now, no more black hat control. They're going broke. Unless you are mossad or something, you aren't being watched. :thumbsup: All that surveillance is something we're becoming aware of but will be over soon. Did you ever watch that vid the Q plan to save the world? They explain the NSA in that.

If any of you need confirmation on some things I shared, this guy is an eye witness in all of this, paid to move large amounts of money all over the world for years.

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

hi, Virginia

I normally don't share this kind of stuff, but it's oddly coincidental with something I wrote on a private discord today, although it may be completely unrelated. Hard to tell. Since I don't share my number out and I'm freaky rigid about contact, this was a real sore thumb after I watched my discord blipping live earlier.

It's funny now many "no name" calls I get for a phone number that is supposed to be unsearchable. 

This one from minutes earlier was also a no name.

And then it sounded like a bird hit a back window and one of the security cams was activated along one side of my house as I was loading that snip on my phone. I'm sure that was a coincidence. 🙄

So. Should I go ahead and share? Whether this is all related or not, these things aren't secrets and anyone can find this information. I'll just slam it all over here.

I know there's a lot and I'm not great at being another documentary condenser. YabloVHToday at 8:27 AM The Q Plan originally started formulating in the 40s or 50s before I was even born, by 1962 (I turned 1 that year) John F. Kennedy was sharing that he would dismantle the rogue CIA and was assassinated for it. By 1999 JFK Jr was running against Hillary for a senate seat and mysteriously alledgedly crashed his plane, and Hillary won by a landslide. Within two years the Democrats were burying $trillions missing in the budget when they took down the Twin Towers and building 7, effectively deleting all the paperwork trails tied to that in those offices. Several times the Alliance has tried to force getting GESARA signed into law, and it has progressed very slowly as part of our history, but it kept getting buried under the Emergency acts and mandates that we've been living under since then. We are not legally under constitutional law since 9-11, and GESARA will bring us back to that when we pull out of the emergency state that we've been living in most of all our lives. In 2016 Trump started globetrotting and world leaders have been bending the knee, so to speak, upon being shown hardcopy of their NSA proofs, including world govts involved in guns, drugs, and human trafficking, the latter gets them pinged with crimes against humanity and freezes all their assets. Once the govts were purged of their deep state leaders, the Trump administration started directing the legal steps to implementing GESARA law, and currently every scrap of gold in the entire world is being inventoried and added to the growing stockpile that will fund worldwide humanitarian projects that will wipe out famine, release patents that will give us free energy and cancer cures among many other things, and zero out all debt since it was all fraudulently contracted under the deep state FIAT system. Everything you see on mainstream news is 'theater' playing out while all this gets done. JFK Jr will purportedly return after the election, according to his uncle that just died, Robert Trump. Documentaries are coming out left and right now about covid being a deep state agenda, the horrific truths about all the missing children and what our military is doing about that, the exposure of satanic ritual abuse and banking crimes based around that abuse, and the bad actors involved i.e. the bloodline families and their involvement as puppets in the propaganda machine (entertainment and news industries), and much much more. Through autumn in the U.S. we'll see a very ugly battle for control, and they'll be pumping democrat everything into eyes and ears as if it's the only thing that matters in the whole world, because to them it does. They will be the ones going to prison, some will be executed for high treason, and some have already been replaced with lookalikes. The mainstream media hides ALL of that, and now the tech giants hosting platforms are banning anything and everything revealing these things. If these were all conspiracies, if they really were laughable and didn't matter, it wouldn't be a big deal to just leave the info up, but they are losing and they know it, and they are doing everything in their power to keep knowledge from being disseminated through their platforms. As of right now, as far as I've been able to find, communist China is over, Russia, India, Iran, and England are part of Trump's global alliance team, and all 209 countries have now pinged ready to go on the Quantum Financial System CHIPS devices (https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/03/200319141030.htm) and sometime in Sept we'll be hearing about U.S. Notes, our new money. These things won't be discussed on news medias because if people knew the truth of everything, there would likely be more rioting and people being hurt and killed as what's left of the deep state assets (sleeper puppets) are triggered to start bombing in earnest, like schools and sports stadiums. That is why they've been so cautious reopening, they're trying to keep people safe from huge false flag events. Sept 7 is a huge satanist holiday, child sacrifices, and the Alliance may be waiting for the rest of the rats to come out of the woodwork, desperate for money and adrenochrome. It's extremely disturbing, and the reason I think they're trying to keep some of the more horrid reveals off the mainstream is because suicide rates are already up from covid lockdowns, imagine your fave A-list actors being arrested for something like child trafficking, buying children to use, or covering for the things they know are true. It will be heartbreaking to see people we grew up with on TV and loved all our lives be part of that kind of evil. This is why the stage is set and we are 'watching a movie'. We aren't seeing the military rescues on the news like you'd think we should be able to because it's been so sickening for anons to find out drip by drip and deep dive research digs, and I can attest that I was so ill learning all this that I stopped sleeping for months and wept every day, and I'm a tough character, already being exposed to some of the darkness. To find out how far it goes is so heartwrenching and depressing, people will just go kill themselves to think they are living on such a sad planet. "Where we go one, we go all" means we are all bound together in this, no one will escape the Great Awakening, and there is no stopping it now. I think that is why I'm here with the anons now, I'm part of the bridge that will help smooth across the hating and blaming. We are all humans caught in a giant trap together, surrounded by spiders on all sides everywhere we go, but some of us can see light ahead, some of us already know there is hope and everything is soon, and we need to keep hanging in there a few more weeks. This horror is almost over. Sorry so long, going to do other stuff. :sparkling_heart: YabloVHToday at 8:57 AM I'm sure at some point the question will come up about why isn't mainstream media dismantled by now if all this is true. TV has been part of our propaganda since birth, and we have been so entrained to look to it for guidance and what to think that many people cannot think for themselves. It has been revealed that the Q plan includes slowly weaning people off this and teaching them to think for themselves. A lot of people are becoming more and more disgusted with the news being obviously dickish or constantly saying keywords and showing clips over and over that can't hold water if you find out where the clips come from, that the keywords are repeated per vatem across most of the networks, that none of what they are saying matches or makes sense and completely flips from last spring to now. Anyone paying attention can see that it's obvious that TV is a control mechanism for mass human thinking. You can't trust it. The people still believing in mainstream media are fragile. Those are the people who won't psychologically survive when their worlds disintegrate into the real truth. They are so dependent that they will always believe good is bad, bad is good, and no one will be able to logically reason with them. It will be sad. The Q plan has enough compassion to help people withdraw slowly. Thinking is hard. I'm one of the people that feels bad for everyone, no matter how evil they are or have been. I feel like we are all caught in this horrible trap, and eating each other metaphorically is every bit as bad as actual cannibalism. I don't believe in being awful or hateful. I'm just really sad that humanity came to this, and overjoyed that there really are people working very hard together trying to make all that nasty sadness go away.

Honestly, I have no idea. If I lose my blog or more over this I might cry for an hour, but in the end, you guys should know by now how to find cache and copy it to other places. 

Stay frosty.

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Ok maybe I'll apologize a little bit. Another day.


Origin pic from Tom Cavanagh Fans, linked below.

So I finally verified this blog as my property, guess we'll see where that goes. The traffic is getting too interesting not to pay better attention. When I have other countries hitting me immediately after linking Q opinion pieces, there you go. Those of you chancing by who can't believe I went down that rabbit hole so hard, you need to realize that the entire world is going Q, and by the end of this year most of you will likely know as much as I do about what's going on. If you want to know more, go back through my blogs, I toss all kinds of information in among my other blabbing about, and find more shares from those people I'm sharing shares from.

Messed around looking at the other blogs while I was over verifying. Hottest Pinky post EVER since I came back out public (aside from anything related to Lexx or Lexxperience) is summer syllabus from 2017 and I guess people still wanna know more. Sorry I keep leaving y'all hanging. 😂 I can't set custom analytics back to July 2014, but I can push it to Nov. 1, 2015 (probably when I verified the property) till now and see that 6700 different visitors have come through, and blogger shows me over 166,000 visits, which I stopped keeping an eye on awhile back and didn't realize was still climbing. Top 20 countries is enlightening, and nearly 14,000 visits were truly dark with no location given. I remember when I first started out and was trying to teach my readers how to use their proxies. 😁 I had to demonstrate how I could see some people's literal street numbers and houses on bing maps before regulars figured it out.

That was fun. I get distracted so easily. I'm really logged on to do something else entirely, and that because I was making sure the doxy wouldn't make me feel ill again like this morning before I go to bed.

Tom Cavanagh Fans tossed this out on twitter and facebook roughly four hours after my own Star Labs t-shirt went live on my own blog here and on pinterest, and all I'm saying is coincidence haunts me and I feel like Tom is judging looking right at me and I wanna know what that pendant is.

I know it's my own guilt yapping now, but I make no apologies for crossing the streams any more on twitter. Real life, my TV obsessions, other people's careers, and now covid screwing everyone around, I know I suck for diluting fun with facepalm, but I tried keeping the fun apart for years and wound up in the fast lane with another person hijacking my web presence, so wtf I just live how I live now. No one is paying me. I come over here and try to make a little bitty more quiet blog and damn if I don't have countries jumping on a dime now, so smh. Keep up or be left behind. The world is changing hard and fast, and Pinky skids through it all with brain coils in high gear. I absolutely will not pander to anyone who is on mainstream media covering for the world horrors that I'm watching go down live in military intel shares. People lying on TV are being paid. I am not. I'm shadowbanned, they are not. Learn the comms, learn their codes. You don't matter to them.

It's probably the doxy making me cranky. I'm not whirling with nausea, thank goodness, but not feeling like I've been sprinkled with magic pixie dust, either. I'm pretty hard on myself as judge and jury, triggered by a judgy Tom pic. Sorry about that. Not his fault synchronicity slapped me again.

I should leave this and go to bed. 😴🛌💤

I make dorky little playlists all the time to help me fall asleep, here is this week's. I just drift off on repeat and sleep great.

a brief whine post

Started yesterday...


I'm not a big Christmas Hallmark/Lifetime movie type of fan, usually avoid all that oversaturation like the plague despite being the Christmas Kid most of my life. Christmas lost all its charm for me in 2006, and it's been years since I've really enjoyed it. Weirdly, I seem to be diving into Christmas movies this summer, and so far this one is my favorite. I think coming from a line of gingers might have something to do with it, because I really took to this kid.

I've been too distracted to do my usual whining, so today confirmed misery and I start doxy pronto for a deeply rooting sinus infection that was probably made worse by masking when I had to go out. I spent a month ruling out cpap and other causes before I finally walked in and grossed out a doctor. It's bad enough to follow up with ENT, surprise. I guess the antihistamines I live on hid oncoming symptoms enough to keep it really vague, despite some very interesting discomfort and stabby headaches, plus, like I said, I've been really distracted. On the other hand, no fever at all this entire time, and my bloodwork looks pretty fantastic, so maybe all the veg replacing ice cream made the difference. My cholesterol came down like magic. 😀 I can confirm, though, that sweet potato fries kept my glucose up as much as ice cream.

Pinterest is trying to boss me around. That one pic comes up so often it's creeping me out. I refuse to repin it on general principle. AI is not the boss of me.

That reminds me, though, I keep forgetting to pin my new t-shirts. I'll do that tomorrow, maybe. My brain is cringing at the thought of booting up. Kinda nearly motion sick from the fluid in my ears and there is some hint at rebellion from the rest of my 30 trillion cells if I drag off this couch. (I looked that up. It's valid.)


One of those wake up every 5 minutes nights. Let us amuse ourselves. I got this through 8 edits before I called quits, including fake lips. The weird eye was a glare over part of my iris. Maybe I'm really reptilian... 😂

I think I can try crashing again. Laterz.

The next day...

Today is about taking it kind of easy, although I'm still sort of busy. Doxy was like suddenly finding myself on a carnival ride bravely not throwing up for about 30 minutes this morning, but all good now. Looks like that's a pretty common side affect, although I don't remember feeling like that the last time I was on it a couple years ago for a tick bite. Found some old research claiming that doxycycline is good for fibromyalgia, could sure feel it. Would be cool if my energy level came back up a bit.

I took to watching vids like these last night till I finally fell asleep.

I had watched this earlier, can't believe how much info packed into that right up to the very end. Love Sasha Stone, amazing guy. Lotta info here you can't get in the news.