Stuff I wrote on 1-15-18.
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Faith in action, and how we have the power to change the future.
- If we do this now, we'll prevent problems down the road.
- If we get this done, we won't see the problems come up.
- If we finish now, we may never know what the problems would have been.
Just because we can't see the future we're avoiding doesn't mean we can procrastinate.
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We've had a couple discussions this week about the price of eeking out every penny's worth of a material good in order to 'save money' and 'not be wasteful'.
Discussion 1- The very real fire that sprang up the wall from a bad cord to a 20+ year old coffeemaker doesn't mean that we should laboriously replace a cord and several other small parts while we're at it and keep risking the fail of the entire house going up in flames, probably worth at least the cost of replacing it with an identical model from ebay and possibly the cost of our entire house and everything in it, not to mention a possible life. If Scott hadn't seen that flame up before he went to work... And you'd think that would really hit a person, but I'm not sure he's wired to think that way. We have very different brains and perspectives. I have finally put my foot down against using taped up electrical cords on general principle, even though we could conceivably keep using appliances to the point where they finally give out into a poof of irretrievable dust.
Discussion 2- Another burner temp regulator has gone berserk and will out of the blue click to super high temp without warning, and I saw a pancake burn black in seconds and a pan smoke hard within seconds of it happening. If I hadn't been in the same room to see that (another possible fire in the same small area leaving me wondering if one of the many lightning surges we've had may have affected the wiring in that wall even though it's all grounded) we could have lost the entire house, and who knows if I'd have escaped a house fire or not. At any rate, to keep using this stove another *looks at clock* 12 years, about half of which have already had one wonky bad burner (and now there's three), is to risk everything we own and possibly even our own lives, so I have put my foot down about no more replacing parts that cost $80 a pop to the point where it will have been cheaper to just go buy a new stove.
These two discussions have only deepened my distrust of everything deep state programmed into older people skulls since our childhoods, that we must not waste anything, that we must save every penny we can, that we must model good citizenship by being thrifty. THAT is a world war mentality. THAT is propaganda from wartime programming. If you wanna see how that affected people, just look at the way we live (we're actually in a very nice house) and ask if this level of commitment to product is worth our lives and everything we own. I have been dealing with this my whole life. First it was my dad, now it's my husband, and the idea is that this is all more important than our own safety, comfort, and enjoyment. We are slaves to a way of thinking.
If you guys catch yourselves telling someone to turn off the light every time they walk through a doorway into another room, you are a slave of that mentality. Logically, lights nowadays are much cheaper and way more efficient than they started out being when it made more sense to fuss about turning off the lights.
This mentality has washed down into several generations, and it disgusts me because that mentality alone is responsible for putting material concerns ahead of people concerns. No person on the planet is worth less than a light bulb, an electrical cord, or a part in an appliance, and yet we automatically do this to each other.
This is why so many people are still in a coma, and many who think they are awake are still at least half asleep.
WAKE UP.
Now I will share my latest meandering video trail from a recent bipolar depression jag that thankfully only lasted 3 days. These have become much rarer over time, still wondering if thanks in part to vitamin D deficiency being corrected. But this is how I survive myself, by burying myself in this kind of distraction. It started off sad (this is the time of year my best friend was murdered) with a weird fanvid and wound up going all trippy with really cool science. This is how I find other people creating things in the dark for me to find, and that is why I continue to write for others.
Food vids are awesome.
Love getting lost in this stuff.
I watched this for a half hour, kid you not. Felt very soothing. I was needing that quite badly since I don't do head meds.
Super awesome.
I wanna find myself in a higher dimension.
lol, I have dreams like this.
This was perfect, I've gotten that exact same call script. Wish I'd been more creative like this guy.
Ha! 😂
o_o
I was not aware bands could be this cool.
After this I felt like getting back out of bed and doing something. 😀
Worldwide suicide hotlines. Sorry it's cut off at the bottom, I found this on twitter and it came like that.
p.s. I experienced my first cognizant alt sharing (not switching, but sharing space) through that depression jag, and it was pretty wild. (I had said out loud a few hours earlier that I wish I could integrate more of myself and stop switching so much, maybe the others felt the same way.) I very strongly encourage you guys to find someone to hug asap and not let go through something like that. Just hug if you can do nothing else. Hugging is good. Try not to bite their head off, chew it up, and spit it back out at them between hugs, or even while hugging. It's not worth losing the hugs. I know it's hard. 💓 Sometimes logical Jacky (the cat who walks by herself) can't always stop emotional Pinky (the interface) from self destructive meltdowns, and when Yablo (party Spock) or Janika (the addict) get dragged into it, we can have some really rough days where time orientation completely fails and everything feels like a very confusing time loop, and everything becomes personally painful even if it never was before, and nothing coming out of us makes sense. God bless youtube (in spite of what patriots think) for saving me time and time again for many years, providing me the distraction that suspends the hyperreaction cataclysms and leads me through the scary dark without dire consequences. I've been able to keep a marriage together and keep talking to my kids and even stay public online, thanks to youtube being available and so many people using youtube to share their visions and creations and dreams and feelings. I will always be a fan of fans.
I'm ok on the other side now. I don't write like this when I'm not ok.
Go tell people you love them.
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