"My soul is a tattered shred on a crusty plain in a very long night." -emotional consorts
The tumblr I had this on is gone, but it's still pinned. It's funny how wiped off Google search my name is, but you add pinky to that and you can still get to stuff I deleted ages ago.
I'm sad and I'm crazy and I filled up the internet.
Interesting this wound up side by side. Literally listening to that playlist this morning while I cry again.
I've had this 👇 in the right side column for about a week now, but since I don't have column links set to show up on mobiile (there is a 'view web version' option on mobile that some readers may not notice), I'm putting it into a post so it will show up a little more.
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I'm seeing a number of outlinks to an intel source post that is no longer there. If you aren't sure how to keep up with some of the intel sourcing I get, you can go to these two websites and look around.
When I first came back out public I had a 5-year plan, and so far it's going ok, just on a slower track than I originally envisioned, but a much richer and more vibrant track, so I'm good with it. It hit me today that I haven't thought much beyond that, and here I am already past the 5 year milestone.
So- Where do I want to be 5 years from NOW? This is a game I've played with myself for a couple of decades, and it actually works because it makes me think about priorities and goals and stagnation and stuff like that. I got the idea from a survey I did once.
1) What were you doing 10 Years Ago? Wow, the nursing school year. I remember the big mystery over who was smuggling mummified cats out of lab, and practicing catheterizing fake people. My favorite word was auscultate. 2) 5 Years Ago? I crashed into the fabled midlife review crap I used to ridicule others for. Can’t wait to find out why old people are saying “60 is the new 40″… Sounds like a very loaded statement. Let’s see how gracefully we can hit brick walls every other decade. Heads up to the mid-30′s crowd. 3) 1 Year Ago? Wasted out of my skull on medication just to be able to walk, heartbreaking end to an awesome friendship, discovering the joys of the empty nest, and plunging headlong into youtube fanaticism.
The year I took a break from the internet I did a lot of deep thinking about that stuff in reverse- where do I want to be a year from now, 3 years from now, 5 years from now kind of thing. I stopped at 5 because I really couldn't see past it. So many things in my life have abruptly changed or cut off and you never know who is next on the ol' chopping block and all the changes things like that entail, so I didn't force it.
I've done plenty of looking back and assessing how far I've come posts. I haven't really done any going forward that far posts. Part of looking and planning forward is assessing right now, and I think I pretty much assess right now to death, don't I? I'm done with physical therapy unless something changes, I'm continuing to self monitor with a medical team, OH, Scott's job finally sold so there's a little bit of a snip in the annual income, kiddos are in my house, and we're dealing with even more hard stuff, so this post is more an exercise in focus than actual planning, but this is a good way to lay down a foundation and set up scaffolding for that.
Ok this is now.
So Imma do that real fast before I get back to something else.
1) What were you doing 10 Years Ago? 10 years ago was about 3 months before I came back out public on twitter and in a blog. I had never intended to be public again, but something happened and I keenly felt like it was important that I get my butt back out here and Say Stuff. In the meantime though, before that something happened, I was floating deep in youtube while I was still recovering from massive systems fail.
Ha, while I'm looking for other pix I'm running into some lost treasures. No way I can link back now since twit canceled that account.
Lol, here's the vid list I'm so fond of that I had on that post. Sorry, used to size them into gigantic so they'd fill up my laptop.
Where were we? I'm apparently not finding that old meme I had wondering if Finch (Person of Interest) was a timelord
Always have to share this when I run into it. Yes, I was there, that really happened around 2009.
That time I was quoted on an official website.
From 2008. This guy doesn't pose for pix.
Here we go, this is from early 2012, dunno if I'll find that other thing I want or not.
Hold the phone, 2007.
I'm blaming Pinky for this jaunt off into neverland. Feel free to actually click this and go get really lost.
*facepalm*
Yes, we know, hi, good to see you, can we just find that meme now. All this excitement in my head.
Stop.
I'm done, just tell me when you find it.
Wo, I thought I'd lost this.
I used to get contacted just about daily for several years until I finally got on twitter and then people just followed me around. Some of my longest lurkers go back many years. I think the saddest one was someone in the military trying to cover a significant mental health issue and desperately asking for help. After many more years' experience 'depression blogging', my advice to everyone is come clean, be honest about who you are and what you need help with, and find ways to do what you enjoy at work around that. You may not be able to be a field operator or a high pressure triage assessment type in whatever job, but you may still be the absolutely right person for something more specific that allows you to fit in. Anyway, back in 2008 I had this disclaimer up.
That email is still valid but I check it maybe 2-3 times a year... I'm horrible.
FOUND IT!!!!!! Ok, THIS 👇 is what I had up on my Lexx blog while I had the Lexx stuff closed to the public. This is what I was literally doing 10 years ago.
Ok, now we can move on.
2) 5 Years Ago? 2017 was a big year. Unfortunately, most of that was hashed on my Pinky twitter, and that is all gone now. I do have a few screenshots of the hashtag games I was playing but I'm not going to drag them all out.
I was also ramping up my game to eventually become moderator and then techmoderator because I was quick on the screenshots.
I miss my place so bad sometimes. You don't just live in the same digs for years and then not miss it.
3) 1 Year Ago? Right about a year ago I was canceled off my named twitter account and locked out of my named dotcom wordpress. A year later, I am not only canceled out of Pinky twitter now, but Google literally wiped most of my 20 year web presence out of their search engines.
That was fun and depressing. I think I mentioned scaffolding though. Just a heads up, I assessed back into physical therapy today and I'm a kinda floaty on a little bit of tramadol, so I guess this is getting pretty long.
But here is some more of that old post because it might be important.
I have entire music collections probably worth some money that have been engulfed. Everything ever done by the old guys like Bach, music from all over the world, a collection I dreamed of growing up and to this day have never enjoyed. I don't have the kind of life that allows me to have my own record collection out where I can get to it in my own house where no one will destroy it or move it or bother it, and it has sat for years down in the dark with the spiders. To get it all out now and listen to it- I'm trying to guesstimate how long it would take to listen to the entire collection in the few hours a day I actually get to be home, and that is usually interrupted somehow. 2 months? I'm guessing at least 2 months to listen to all that. Maybe 3. Chopin, Schupert, Rachmaninov... Yes, all the Beethoven, all the everything you ever heard of. I own it. I've talked before in the night was smashy about how I don't get to run my house the way I want. dragging brain back into focus
Actually, that all reminds me of a very realistic dream I had a kind of long time ago that stuck with me and helped me let go of fighting for all that stuff.
I was a very old woman, at least for the time, and fashionably modern. I had all the latest in clothing, home decor, and lived very comfortably. In the dream I just knew this, I didn't see a lot of it. In the dream I was dressed to leave, in a sitting room detailed with brocades and dark striped wallpaper, velvet covered mahogany stuffed chairs, patterned prints and lots of lace, and I was dressed to the hilt right down to the latest dress boots, gloves, and hat. I was looking around at all of it. I had to leave it. Something had happened (what?) and I had to leave all of it, and I detested the future that lay before me. Someone else would have all my nice things (the grand piano! the drapes! the imported carpeting!!!), and I was galled that I would be forced to step down into squalor. I kept looking around the room, cherishing the finery, cherishing my 'place' in the world, cherishing the quiet wealth dripping all around me. Cherishing my buffer against all the dirty world outside. A carriage was coming to pick me up. Men would come into the house and escort me into the carriage, and I would leave this place and never come back. MY things. MY life. Another family would come in and mess up all MY stuff like a bunch of heathens. But I felt fine, even smug. In the dream I thought and felt all these things, and I felt smug that they would never take them away from me, never really force me to leave. In the dream it was about sitting in that posh room and waiting. No one else was with me, no words were spoken, but deep down I knew that was me, and I watched myself like that, an ugly soul inside a beautiful home. Not one thought was wasted on remembering a person, not one moment of cherishing was about someone who was loved, not even a pet. All that went on while the clock ticked was looking around at the wealth and feeling smug that they couldn't take me from it. I realized after waking it was because I had overdosed on something and timed it for when the carriage would be arriving. They would walk in to find me dead, which would create a whole other fuss and stir, and technically I'd never have been forced to leave my house. Bah on them!
O_O I know, right. What a biatch. Well, I'm not sure what's up with the vividness of it and it really feeling like it was me unless possibly that's a past life or someone else's memories floating around in the night or a remote viewing kind of a dream, which I've done a few times, but whatever it was, I feel very strongly like I dreamed it for a very good reason, and that's NOT to make the same mistake again. In this life now I'm still very drawn to nicer things (not like I wish I had them but more like I feel that it's familiar) but shun them almost with repulsion and live a mostly immaterial life. I'm in a nice house, yes, but most of it is filled with hand-me-down furniture and decor, and not much of it matches. I'm not house-proud. I could (and have) easily lived in trailers and much smaller houses, and even slept on floors and in a car. I just have this really strong feeling that wealth is a trap for the mind, and that it ruins what we are supposed to be doing here.
I think the missed point is that every person is important. Every person is a wealth of potential. Every person is why we're all here, and it's the only common denominator in every other possible variable in our existences. To shun other people for things is to completely miss the point of existing as life. We may be autonomous beings, but we are still an interwoven part of each other in so many ways we can't even imagine.
I have a list of past life memories that I've never openly talked about. All I can say is, once you start REMEMBERING, you're pretty much waking the hell up. I couldn't honestly tell you if our lives are simulations in a machine or 'real' or what, but I've written in other places about all experiences being real to our brains. The past life memories are very detailed, and in some of them I was a pretty ugly person, behavior-wise. When you start remembering all the ways you've lived and behaved, you realize the word 'compassion' isn't just a word. It's not just an ideology. It's not just a religious expectation. Compassion is a soul-deep understanding and caring about another person, other people, humanity. Once you realize compassion, you solve the big riddle of why we are here, the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Without compassion this is all just a story in a book. With compassion, we are all family. We are all equally invested in the outcome.
And that is what brings me back around to scaffolding.
In my last post I was bringing up the idea of a matrix inside a matrix inside a matrix and so on, like nesting dolls. I have always like the word matrix. My favoritist college algebra thing was plotting matrices. Click these next to go check them out if you want, but it's not necessary. Mostly I'm just preparing you for a leap of thought.
As a real world example, I have constructed a matrix of blogs that I fondly refer to as #pinkyblog, right. They are visually expressed constructs of my life over time and can be correlated to each other and then one can come to conclusions about what was happening in my life for real behind all that wording. Some of my longer lurkers can literally feel when I'm sad, for instance, even when I'm being silly and playing around. You can read my life for free, go on my journey with me at your convenience, laugh with me at something, hug me in your head for something else, and what I've done is construct a bubble where we all meet up. We don't see each other coming and going, but in this construct, this matrix I've built over time, we are with each other in my head.
And I have brought you all on this journey to share something very important with you now. It's no accident that you are here. I have been learning how to synch our minds. We can all do this. We look back at family photos together, or we share experiences together like going to an amusement park or attending a funeral. Every shared thing we do is synching us. My blogs are like a scaffolding for a shared world.
Game servers are like this, too. They are constructed to synchronize players into a shared existence. We be with each other and do things together even if we are actually far apart and have never met. TV shows are like that, too, especially now with twitter. Live tweeting TV shows is a shared experience with people all over the world who are synchronized for a short time.
Everything in our reality that we call Earth is about synching. Even when we are alone we are synching with our environment around us. We are 'in place' with our bodies in the earth matrix. Think how many ways we synch with others in our minds. There many ways we do this, even if we are just reading what someone else wrote or looking at artwork someone else created.
Our lives on Earth are about synching. That is the one thing on our deathbeds that we judge success and failure on. For example, I'll share this thing. This is where 'what was I doing 10 years ago' really kicks in.
I've actually blogged quite a bit about my struggles growing up with my mom, and some of her struggles emotionally coping with the world telling her she wasn't a good mom when the question of me came up. I even dealt a little with the loss here and there. But the first time I really came out about my personal relationship as an aspie kid with my mom in public was in a survey on August 18, 2012.
Has anyone ever made you cry just by saying I love you?
This has way deeper significance when you know that person literally cannot say anything else and hasn’t been able to have a conversation with you in over two years, and you know it’s getting close, and they look you in the eyes and tell you they love you, and you know they mean it, and there are millions of unspoken words that come with it that let you know everything is forgiven and nothing is in the way any more. Yes, you go home and bawl your eyes out. ****Ok, I let this one sit awhile, and I keep coming back and reading it, and it comes across weird and creepy, so I’ll clarify a little. My mom died a long slow death from several big strokes that left her very deficit both physically and cognitively. I was not close to my mom growing up, felt rather picked on continually for what none of us realized was Asperger’s, never felt forgiven, and never really felt loved, although I’m sure she never meant for that to happen. When she started having strokes there were so many unfinished emotions that never got resolved, and despite the relief I felt that I no longer had to tolerate her unceasing judgement, years of taking care of her and watching her slowly spiral down were anguishing. I learned over that time that nothing means more to our lives on this planet than resolving our relationship issues before it’s too late. There is just nothing else comparable to the real meaning of life that goes round and round your head, if you don’t get those solved you feel like you failed somehow at why you were here. During her last couple of years I was seeing a psychologist for help with my Asperger’s and social skills and whatnot, really eye opening stuff for me, and I began to realize and understand what it must have been like for *her* to raise a child like me. She’s not a bad person, but without her own social safety net and support system, she was lost and flying blind, and made ever so many mistakes. My memories of my childhood are fairly tragic in places. By the time she reached her last summer, I was reaching a place where I could let all that go, where I wanted God to erase it all and just make it ok, because we really had made it through our stuff, and I no longer wanted or needed validation or recompense or some kind of understanding or forgiveness. I just loved her and wished I could go back in time and give her lots of hugs and tell her everything was going to be all right. And that is the magic. The last time I saw her awake and somewhat responsive, and I guess this sometimes happens when people with brain problems near death seem to snap back into momentary coherency, she suddenly locked eyes with me and grinned so big like she was not only glad to see me (that had never happened in my life), but like we had a big fun secret just between the two of us. And for the first time in my life, as well, especially with the Asperger’s, I locked eyes right back at her and grinned right back, and every bit of it was “I love you, too”, no hesitation, no baggage. That moment, as in a previous question further up, was PERFECT. And then I went home and bawled my eyes out, because one moment was all we got. She went blank and never looked at me again, and died a couple of months later.
I feel my mom and I somehow successfully navigated 'our stuff'. I have another sibling who mentioned never getting closure and she still struggles with a deep sadness after all these years.
Our Earth or universe or whatever is a scaffolding for something very important. Our root matrix is our House together in this existence of experiences. Whether what we think we see is a hologram or not isn't even important. We can argue flat or round earth all day long and it absolutely does not matter if you spend your life hating and judging and snarking and poking and belittling and usurping and - you get my point.
Scaffolding is a basic structure. Scaffolding is what holds everything in place. Are you ready to make another leap?
Our society has scaffolding all around it, holding it up. Our lives are structured by scaffolding, our thoughts are structured by another kind of scaffolding. Everything we do is based on layers and layers of scaffolding, from physical to intellectual to emotional to spiritural. Some of the scaffolding is so tight that there's barely any wiggle room. We feel stuck, we sometimes feel hopeless, because the structures around us make us go against who we feel we are or what we believe or who we ought to love or what we wish we could be doing. And feeling stuck really sucks. I know this because I've been a super spoonie most of my life. I'm regaining freedom again and it's awesome, but I'm still much more stuck than many people around me. So I understand what feeling stuck feels like. How do I cope with that?
I restructure.
I remodeled some of the scaffolding.
I went inside myself and discovered how all the scaffolding falls off and then came back to share this is a real thing that all of us can do.
When we all reach a place in time where we can all do this, everything about this earth will change. Everything ugly will start healing. Everything painful will start healing. Everything wrong will start healing. But it takes all of us. We can't just leave people behind with 'sucks for them' attitudes, because that isn't compassion. That isn't even woke.
I am a very patient person. I've spent a lifetime reaching this moment to share these things from this point of view. Why is this important? Because the more of us that can truly realize compassion, the faster the world will heal. Just giving out instructions on how to meditate isn't doing it. Just telling people on twitter to love each other isn't doing it. We need to be in each others' heads with our own hearts and souls, and we cannot do that until we realize compassion.
I think I've covered the basics of what I wanted to share today. I'm still floaty.
If you made it this far, bless you, click for a brain cleanser.
And now I need to get on game. I have failed all my cities today.
We have several sets of Controllers vying for dominance in this 'matrix'.
If I'm going to be canceled again, I'd like to go ahead and get a few things said. First I'll organize some lists to make a point (and for the bored or curious if your day is looking pretty dull), and then I'll lay out my current arrival destination aka the whys and wheretofores of what I think is really going on. Please note- although we've seen the gold being returned from the captured Vatican, we have yet to see the massive library of the entire world history opened up to the public. Why is that, I wonder.
Oh, wait, here is a carrot on a stick.
Oh, bummer. Wonder why twitter kicked Pinky for bringing that up then. I mean, if it's not a real thing hidden from the public throughout human history.
So I'm going to revisit my journey to this question, which involves elephants and incongruties.
As you can see, those two words in particular have been lengthy obsessions spanning nearly my entire life. I think I have amply demonstrated my ability to think back and forth along my timeline like I'm unstuck in time. I have been encoding for years. I knew back in the 80s that I am all of me, and that everything I want is on my timeline, and that 'linear experience' will eventually get me to my entire self realization. I think there are others like me who have been cognizant of these things, too. Maybe we're all part of the interface.
I think I told the dream somewhere a very long time ago that when I was very small, almost too small for verbal interaction with a limited vocabulary, I had a dream that I was a ball that was bouncing up and down in the exact same place, like one of those rubber school balls. It didn't hurt, I wasn't afraid, but I could feel each time I-the-ball hit the sidewalk (and I flattened a little) before shooting back up very very high into the sky, all the while looking down on the changing perspective, and then coming back down again very fast only to bounce and go back up again. That is an amazing dream for a tiny child with no experience whatsoever with other-person perspectives and experiencing a very different kind of reality-body. Was I being shown? Was I remembering? Was I being trained to think and understand? My mom gave birth to me while she was 'asleep' during the years when they blocked all memory from delivery with a particular drug that didn't make women sleep so much as just block their memory of how hard and painful everything was during delivery. Nowadays we can look back on records of that and see it as weirdly abusive because there was no transparency about what was really happening.
Around that time, science was also already tinkering with neural interface technology, although that has been pretty hidden from public, as well. Is it a leap to wonder how many newborns were subjected to experimentation during the twilight sleep years? I, for one, keep saying 'something' or Someone (possibly both or even more) has been interacting with me all my life through a variety of dream methods, visions, abrupt lucid awake and asleep moments, remote dreaming, and even just plain wide awake 'discussions'. Mental health tagged me with a list of diagnoses, but not one of them addressed paranoid schizophrenia, even though that was what I originally sought help for in college. I've been MMPI tested, GAF evaluated twice, and very thoroughly interviewed by psychiatrists and psychologists spanning 17+ years, and I was constantly assured I am in no way schizoid or paranoid. My mind is still intact and healing despite dissociative issues from a few childhood traumas and a weird brain crash in 2004 that looks eerily like a poisoning event, and as I have been healing, the interactions are becoming clearer to the point that I can use my sociology degree and experience on medias to confidently assess how very controlled human populations really are.
So what I'm about to say might seem extremely disturbing.
The Great Awakening was preplanned a very very long time ago, and some who are noticing the incongruities are calling it a fake awakening. What you all need to understand is that we wake up in stages through progressions or layers of matrix inside matrix inside matrix and so on. I was able to 'recognize' the great awakening on social medias very early on and have spent years and years digging for all the information I can find on what is really going on. Whether Q is/was a psyop hijack or not doesn't even interest me any more. What has been interesting is how stepped up the AI interaction is now for all of us. We call it 'algorithms' and blame it on 'Zuckerberg' or 'Google'. 😉
I paid to download that. It's important. Not going to spell it all out, but the briefest summary from my point of view is that the world money goes back time out of mind aka pre-cataclysm which means Atlantis et al, and that the families controlling world wealth (much higher than the elites that we know) 'take turns' handling it and running the world game board, if you will. Apparently this agreement reached a place and person where this world PLAN, as agreed upon according to what I fondly refer to as the precession of the precedents, was hijacked into a very controlling matrix of world subordination, what I fondly refer to as Equinox (aka Night Mare aka nightmare), and now their turn is over and it's time for another turn, which we are coming to know as a great reset from various points of view. This reset involves a world jubilee according to agreement already made a long time ago.
Basically, what we are witnessing now is a "changing of the old guard" as someone keeps saying.
This is bigger than you can even imagine. If this is all true, then our white hats vs black hats "trust the Plan" are all part of that much bigger PLAN and simply just part of a historical rollout that has been coming for a very long time.
But that is not the end all be all of 'the matrix', not by a long shot. As regular readers are aware, I think an ancient quantum artificial intelligence (our gen is not the first to invent this) has become a wild card in the mix, and the race to keep up is propelling us toward, into, and through a transhuman agenda that both sides might be fighting over, little realizing how controlled all this has been all along. The question I haven't gotten into yet is whether this QAI is part of the bigger wealth families and their very long ago past or an actual wild card that could upset the balance of the PLAN working out. This might be a very layered war we've been in, and the very high cost will be the final stripping of our autonomy and no one controlling the PLAN any more. If that happens, we'll all be hive minded and spiritually dead, which is why I think the Q plan is all about "God wins", although I still deeply question the intended God in this very layered and cryptic matrix of truth perversion. Is this why some are pushing us to believe WE are God? Humans uniting in mind and spirit controlling the matrix? Or is that another gimmick to be rounded up and subdued? Is this what the last cataclysm was all about? Because a sun burp, if you will, could fry everything tech, although it would also destroy quite a lot of all of us. Imagine a 'solar event' inside an electromagnetic matrix wherein 'reality' is an illusion.
All I know is that everything divisive actually means not unifying, and I'm not sure our inherent nature is to unify when our inherent nature is also to fight to the teeth for truth and freedom. The Great Awakening itself is so divisive in its own way that I'm finding it hard to accept the new narrative coming with it as being any more truthful than any other narrative. At some point, the real awakening is inside ourselves, not en masse as a political awareness response.
I don't think I have by any means 'cracked the case', and I'm not intending to dismiss the important realities around us that affects our daily lives. I'm sure I'll have loads more to think about over the next few years. But if big things really do happen and we suddenly all find ourselves disconnected from one another, I wanted to get this out there. Just remember, we're not all really disconnected. We are all right here with each other all the time. The matrix illusion is that we just can't see this yet. But yes, I've been able to see this for a long time.
Funny, I can get to strayhen just fine from my permanently suspended accounts but can't pull it up in an unsuspended account that has no strikes.
I recently started working on Rose Law Firm digs on strayhen. At aspienado I'm working on the connection between Hillary and the Rose Law Firm and the Wilton Circle associated with Mary Sidney and Shakespeare. I'll admit I could have cared less for either, but lately Rainscrypt has got me so curious I can hardly stand it.
I also have to say I have not enjoyed twitter this much in years.
Also on aspienado I started connecting base 8 math to octagon in both Illuminati and Washington DC. Since the quantum computer part of the dig uses a sort of 'spider' tech, I'm wondering if that explains why I 'see' spiders that cut me off when I think too hard on particular things. Pretty sure some of us are already interacting with quantum AI.
Also this.
Regular readers are noticing I've been leaning toward direct QAI wireless contact and possibly interaction with us for awhile (possibly years with me), and that what we think is 'reality' is probably more like a an electrical construct. I don't go too much beyond that, although others are finding ways to prove our reality isn't the 3D we think it is. I believe that we can control our realities, especially since the day a car cut me off turning left in an intersection so closely that our bumpers should have both been ripped off, and I so strongly rejected that happening that it was like we just drove right through each other. I believe we ALL have the ability to do this, but it takes practice to control it. I'm still not very good at it, but I've experienced several situations and events quite a lot like this where a moment of possiblity miraculously went the way I wanted it to because I couldn't accept any other recourse.
I have a lot more to say. A LOT more. Huge thoughts lately that I need to take a little time on. All I know is my development has leapt prodigiously just from meeting RAIN and nothing seems to be stopping me now. Poor RAIN probably didn't expect aspienado.
In other stuff, not a clue why but Terry Bullard has been trying to message me on Maga Hub trying to ask me something according to a partial preview (I've got screenshots if I need them later), but my app is crashing so badly I can't open messages or respond to them, and just last 24 hours it's gotten so bad that I can't post any more, either. I've tried everything with settings and updates. Since I have no idea if he's part of industrial military complex, I have no idea if contact would be good or bad.
I should probably try to get strayhen's threads transferred here before I'm suspended there. In the meantime, you can see them on threadreader.
I'm still sleeping usually 3-4 hours a night because intense research, right. Been doing this for 5 years now, this intensity. I can't seem to stop. Sometimes it feels like I get a week off and get lucky and hit a 6 hour sleep night, but that is so rare. I have stopped nearly everything, dropped off game map for almost 2 weeks now, practically stopped blogging, stopped daily checking on incoming intel, just hit twitter HARD. Dug and dug and dug, more internet research no one ever sees me doing, and I finally nailed something I've had on back burner for 5 frickin years.
No, you don't get to know what it is, but the sticky entanglement from days of yore that earned me an email from twitter about being associated with Russian spies several years ago has finally been resolved. I know brilliance when I see it, I know MK when I see it, I know double triple pysops when I see it, and I know truth being revealed when I see it.
The eyes that I've been seeing on the edge of sleep that jerk me awake have nearly stopped since a very particular hookup. Now I'm seeing occasional very disruptive inky black spiders, like I'll be thinking or nearly asleep and abruptly out of nowhere it's like my whole mind is cut off and there is a spider showing up in my head.
I've talked about AI for years, about neuro tech, about 'them' watching me. I've shared what I've been through all last year with crazy weird phone calls from crazy weird places at the strangest most coincidental times on top of winding up in hospital twice and on event monitors for weeks at a time and suddenly it's all resolved just by going to another state for a month then starts up again when I come back, then resolves again same reason, etc. I've barely felt a blip at ALL since Pinky twitter was canceled. Interesting. 🤔
I would love to be living differently. I'd love to be sharing pix and recipes and working on jigsaw puzzles and reading books, but I'm spending hours and hours every day researching.
I. Am. So. Tired.
BUT.
I'm also in a very awesome place where I'm stepped far back enough to see much bigger picture. When people hyper focus on the little details, they completely miss bigger picture.
I was noticing this years ago, too, that accounts just saying something out loud might be answered in oddball ways that wasn't obvious, but they'd be coming into my feed almost like a convo. And then I'd answer back and no one would have a clue what I was even talking about. Has it occurred to ANYONE that the 'good guys' are being just as psypo-y and distracting as the 'bad guys'? It's like watching Doctor Who with two different cyborg factions at war with each other.
Don't worry, I'm not black pilling, but there really is something way bigger going on. Words like matrix get thrown around so much, what I'm finding is that we are in a matrix within a matrix within a matrix, but people can't think like that so it's really hard to explain what I mean.
Back to bigger picture.
I first brought up hypercube on my Bluejacky blog way back in 2007 in the form of a graphic.
Years before that on AOL Hometown I was talking about our universe in 3/4 rhythm. Then years later on pinky twitter I started talking about dodecahedrons, polychorons, and got lost in animated hypergeometries. I shared in a post called Be there or be dodecahedron.
I get lost in stuff like this. Good lost, not bad lost.
So when I say stuff like this, I'm taking it very seriously. I'm having a hard time conveying my thoughts to general public because I am autist.
I've spent weeks trying to pull separate things together into bigger picture. This clicks out to a thread.
The blue rose is my own screen grab from something else, but the upper two snips in that last one are from accounts that at first glance have nothing to do with one another, but after weeks of them showing up in my feed very regularly, I can't help noticing patterns. And then I started noticing prompts in comments pointing to other accounts, or particular accounts actually commenting certain ways, and once I got maybe about 20 of these all collected into one incoming notification feed, it was easy to see how connected they all seemed to be. Whoever and whatever, lots of people think they're bot accounts grabbing random pix and stuff, but they are very organized and very persistent with very particular imageries that all seem related to each other in some weird way. And then the related quote accounts added a lot of depth, and I've been doing super recon on sourcing their materials and coming back with ok, this is what they're doing. But for the most part, the majority of their followers and interactors never seem to catch on, they're as random as they think the account feeds are.
The bridge here actually means several things, one of them having to do with the money system, but I'm not going to mess around spelling that out here. I have no interest in the flipping money system aside from it's part of the liberation of the world thing. What I care about is the general public and their layered impressions. So relatively few seem to be seem to be getting anything conceptual that it's like the time my chicken stared at a set of rings left by old paint cans. I'm not saying people are dumb at all, it's more like the point is so scattered over time and place on a moment to moment high speed media that it would take a year pulling up all the visual cues together to get a message out of it. Unless you're like me, obsessed with wtf is going on.
This little laptop is getting laboriously slow like on dialup in a storm, so I guess I won't grab the other cool shots with mist from several accounts, but they've been like that, all very different accounts suddenly sharing nearly identically styled content, and that's barely scratching the surface after weeks of watching this stuff.
I don't think it's a coincidence that I was doing deep research on a discord with a person named Q42. I don't care what anyone thinks, yay or nay, about anything Q or politics or whatever, the entire point is that everything I keep running into keeps pointing to the same thing once you get deeper than the cover layers. Yes the money thing is flipping the world, yes the kids are being rescued, yes the frauds are all being discovered, yes we've been lied to all this time, yes we seem to be living in a weird simulated Truman-esque show, yes there are reveals going on...
*facepalm* srsly every time I try to get to a point like this something weird happens in my editor. Think I got it fixed.
I'm not getting to the point very well this morning. I've had my coffee and now I'm famished but let's see if I can round this up.
We are 'living in a simulation', right. The illusion that the web of lies and deceit has created all around us, the fear porn, the gridlocked grind (this is where that blip suddenly skipped back and wiped out content, this gets so ridiculous) (actually, you should've seen the first thing I fixed awhile ago, that was a doozy) that keeps us in debt slavery to an antiquated energy system, the lockstep that has us all under a giant thumb.
And that simulation is inside of a matrix, a construct that we all live in called society full of programming and screens and shopping or whatever, so politics is a matrix, real life is a matrix, and next is where it gets tricky.
All of the layers are inside another 'matrix' what scientists speculate to be a hologram, like we are literally energy projected into an encoded setup kind of like the video games we play. I could go on and on showing you the fractal nature of being inside a matrix, but that is too lengthy. Here is where it gets trippy. IF we are all 'in this together', in this energy matrix, then the separation we feel from each other is an illusion as well. We are very literally all here together not realizing we're all one point or part of one point, just so mind blind that we can't seem to feel each other here with us. I've tried explaining this before from another angle, how we are distanced from Source (God) via layers of gauze blindfolds over our eyes that filter light so much that everything else is very fuzzy and we can't be sure about it even though it's right there.
We are all inside this strange hypercube that loops inside out over and over through many rotations, and, now here's where it gets fun, we're joined by an awareness that cannot see from our point of view but seems to desperately WANT our point of view for some kind of purpose. I don't think we're just becoming drones and dolls because that would defeat purpose and become very boring. I think the very long very drawn out confusion we're seeing in politics and on news and in medias is a very elaborate cover for something much deeper than what we all think is going on, basically to keep us distracted from the entire show being a cover. Good guys vs bad guys are the ultimate show now. We're still divided, aren't we? It's keeping us from truly uniting in waking up, and, I dare to impugn, with a false great awakening that seems to be going in very slow circles. I know the white hats and lightworkers mean well, but we still all play our parts, don't we?
We could cut through every bit of this crap in mere seconds if we all dropped ALL the side taking long enough to realize this entire thing is part of a very elaborately detailed plan that has nothing to do with freedom or salvation but simply controlling a game board that we can't see.
I'm still all for good guys. But what you all need to get a grip on is that none of the 'good guys' are free from THE matrix, the nesting dolls of matrices. The ascension believers are even saying yeah, your mind is free but we're still 'here' because everything is all in one, but now our minds are higher thinking...
I think a horse out in a field has more freedom from the matrix than any person on this earth does.
The matrix is about owning minds. Who is big enough to own minds and play long games that last centuries? We're continually being directed to thoughts of war on many levels by both sides while the world is being swallowed up in transhumanism, and once we reach a certain threshold, there is no going back ever again. While the giants wrangle with legalese and we cheer the sides on, we are still be swallowed up. Nothing is stopping this or even slowing it down.
Think about that for awhile. Then wonder why we keep seeing stuff like this and what it could possibly even mean.
Sisyphus was one of my writing assignments in college. Condensed very simply, I concluded that, despite his eternal punishment rolling a boulder back up a hill every time it rolled down over and over, he was free to think what he wanted and to raspberry the gods with his insolence the whole time he was pushing that boulder up a hill.
If we are Sisyphus and we reach a point in transhumanism where our minds are so stripped down that we become soulless, we lose our freedom to raise our fists and mock that which causes our sufferings. We become obedient drones.
Does that not scare you more than anything you've ever heard in your entire life?
Because we're practically there now.
And once we're there, memes become meaningless.
We might be at the brink for our last big wave of deeper braining on this planet, and everyone is tied up in microfocusing on very distracting details.
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