I can be remarkably dense. In this instance, I just realized today, 40 years and a few months afterward, that I have proven that I'd lay down my life to save a stranger's life, without any hesitation whatsoever. After I realized that decision actually happened, I also realized I have never once thought about or even wondered what road in my life the alternative choice would have set me on.
Despite my spontaneous in the moment willing sacrifice during very real danger and very quickly upcoming horrible death that I completely accepted instantly, and despite the very real suffering I've gone through for years as a result, I am still here. Still breathing, still doing things and making decisions, still loving my people.
What if I had avoided the danger and let the stranger take it? What if that person had died? Or worse, what if two other people had died? There were 3 vehicles involved, none of whom collided because I took mine off the road immediately. What if I had had to live with knowing these 40 years that my initial actions caused other people to die?
Something to think about another time, perhaps. Right now I need to head out to the dentist.
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