-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero at PinkyGuerrero, Pinky, Janika, Basically Clueless & this blog PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
 photo README2.gif


Wednesday, March 31, 2021

Juance Upon a Time, there was this kid...

Tired of laying low. I don't know how these vids haven't been canceled on youtube yet. I downloaded them and am currently backing them up on my bitchute just in case (click the line that says Some videos are not shown due to your current sensitivity settings, click here to show them., and I'm being super cautious putting a light NSFW restriction on them because of the rare F words and the historical perspective of children being roasted alive as sacrifices to Baal, which is pretty disturbing if you haven't ever realized that is what the old testament was about, pretty much Baal (Moloch, etc, whatever you wanna call him) vs the children of God, who were vehemently against child sacrifice. Our entire religious history literally boils down to that, especially because it's still happening all over the world. (You ever wonder why some near Eastern countries referred to the U.S. as the Great Satan? Time to wake up.)

That entire second half, I kept thinking of things like Elijah and the book of Amos, both of which I've written about. Amos is my favorite book. Elijah is my favorite prophet.

And of course, Juan's podcast interviews are further enchanced when you get the book, which I have. I got two, actually, so I could send one out. In my opinion, 👉Kid by the Side of the Road👈 is a very nice coffee table style book that I'd easily have spent $40 or more on, but I paid only $12. Juan O Savin is either barely breaking even producing and mailing these books, or he's taking the financial hit because he really cares about this information getting out as widely as possible.

I feel privileged to be living in this time and especially blessed to have my eyes open to witness to this never seen before history rolling out, the greatest military operation in the entire world, the beginning of the massive purging of nasty evil (human trafficking and crimes against humanity, especially the children) around our whole planet, and the mass awakening as millions and millions of us notice "we aren't in Kansas anymore."

I'm trying to be patient. It's hard. I know it's really hard.

God bless Juan O Savin and all the patriots working so hard to keep not only holding the line, but advancing inch by inch as we keep the faith that behind the scenes is all going according to Plan.

Where we go one as a species on this earth, we go all, even if it means turning over every stick and stone and everything we know changes. We are all on this ride, and you can start paying attention, or you can stay asleep until it's no longer possible to ignore, which will be really difficult when it comes down to that.

👉This young lady👈 says it best.

For any of you chancing across this (or linking over) who don't or can't yet accept that this is reality, it's time to grow up and be a real human. You're not babies. This isn't TV land.


Life in a nutshell. Spend, fix, spend, fix, spend, fix...

One of those enthusiastic newguy mistakes. This is clearly a slab of ribs. Didn't even notice the mix up till I got them out of the freezer.

When I share links to discussions that aren't controlled by big media and their overlords, I'm stopped with 'we can't let you do that, Pinky, because this link is potentially harmful'. (See the above pic for a demo of narrative telling you what is what and you know that's not right but the narrative makes it official and that's how it becomes inventoried into total sales later. Think about that happening all around you in real life.)

Really fighting with blogger's latest updates and I'm not even on my phone. +_+ Noticing that this morning's big MS updates seem to be freezing the entire editor up continually, as well. Gaming works great. Blogging is like throwing darts in the dark with a keyboard. I'm not amused.

Let the kids stick a toe outside for the first time yesterday.

Monday, March 29, 2021

chick tales

I've read that phrase so many times last few days that it's starting to blur into new mashup phrases when I glance at it, like A manic ego has crashed to the ground!

Love that blue egg. Not sure I want to evolve it. I could let it just sit there like that forever.

In other games, me all decked out in Roblox. I look like a walking flea market.

I ignored this at the time, but it kinda stands out, so... Not sure why that post in particular. Guess I got linked for some weird reason.

Hi, Lithuania.

The funny thing is that it doesn't show up on google analytics at all. At. All. The post title, the country, the count, nothing. Maybe that's part of the weird big shadowbanning cancel thing.

We've got a baby roost up now. This is Juanita, a Black Star crossbreed. Her baby feathers will get grown over by black over most of her body, and she'll have a reddish neck.

Like this. Click it to see more.

Chicky cam. 

I keep walking off and forgetting about this. Not sure how long ago I started it.

Claudia got pretty bossy on Scott yesterday. He bought the kind of trailer over the weekend that he can haul a lawnmower on, but he's really struggling with backing that thing. I had kidhood memories popping up of my dad having me stand behind whatever big thing he was driving, with firm commands to stay in THAT SPOT and give him very particular hand/arm signals, and he'd literally back up to me and stop. He never bumped me, though, because my dad was a professional driver. I stood there not freaking out knowing he'd always be able to see me somehow, so you can imagine my childhood being this huge trust exercise. Quite a lot of my interactions with Dad involved an almost superhuman level of trust.

So imagine me springing into this bossy kid mode fussing at Scott while I'm standing way behind trying to signal him in for a straight landing into awkward tight spots with that trailer, because of course Scott wants what he wants and what he wants is a new trailer in an unbelievably tight spot that has to be precisely angled into, next to a propane tank. And on the other side is his big tool shed, which he did crunch into with a little bit of damage, alas. After multiple attempts there and further up the drive by the swing set, I finally pulled Claudia back and bailed as nicely as I could, and we stood watching from inside the doorway, but first I made sure he had an absolutely straight way to back to the swing set. When he came in, I told him I was close to jumping in and just doing it myself, and he said he'd have let me. Poor guy mentioned the neighbors probably heard it all, and none of me feel any remorse whatsoever, even after sleeping on it.

Scott is the most tolerant man I know. I really don't know how he puts up with this switching out, don't know if he's even aware of it happening, but he takes it with a slab of salt, bless him.

Did I even mention our hail storm last week? All of this is hail, not snow.

And this is hail damage.

West side got the full blow, south side was alongside the wind and didn't really get hit much. All the lighter speckles are 1 inch + hail blows.

No idea how this wasn't crashing out windows up all 3 stories, because it sure sounded like it should have. My car windshield has a long crack in it from the hail.

Couldn't believe the hail didn't take out the yard lights or the cameras around the house. Every light colored spot along the railing is a hail ding.

We'll probably have some roof repair. I think we've done roof repair at least 3 times now since we moved here. Really thrilled the tornado went north of us.

We've had our biggest flock of wild turkeys coming up regularly this year.

Check it. I've been searching for this cover to see if it's real.

I don't think it is. Click this next for pinterest.

I think I need to get busy now. I'm having my usual Monday morning lull after a really busy weekend, and about 3 hours have slid right by me.

Friday, March 26, 2021

the adults gotta protect the children

This is from a long convo. Just wanted to share the different styles expressed. 

Not making any statements. No conclusions. Just looking at stuff.

Thursday, March 25, 2021

Janika Banks has been canceled, come back tomorrow


So I found out last week that NONE of my blogs are currently 'discoverable' by Webmii, which has dropped me to a 1.16. I already knew last fall I was somehow blacklisted from the above linked premium WordPress dotcom blog bearing my name, Janika Banks.

Now when I do a Webmii search on my name, not one of my blogs shows up. My visibility plummeted from 6+ to 1.16 in 4 months flat. This screenshot links to timestamped proof of 6+.

Please note that they also removed my face, which I think is pretty significant, given that an image search for me on chrome used to produce all my selfies for miles. Welp, that's gone, too. Nothing from my Janika Banks pinterest board is showing up in image search now. So Google, Pinterest, WordPress, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and now Webmii... Anyone else?

I'd retained 4s and 5s rankings on Webmii for years, which I mockingly shared on my series of pinky blogs, but clearly, the qanon posts shot my sagging blog numbers, which had been sliding back into the 4s, up into a 6, leapfrogging right over the 5s, and I'm so glad I got proof of that, because none of that shows up now.

Question- How coincidental is it that my score dropped so drastically AFTER I said 

"This began this last August when I made a big deal about putting George magazine in my header on my named twitter, janikabanks. That was also the same day I shared a link from a Hollywood insider, a director naming names in the Hollywood pedophile scandals. Despite this, I remain ranked above a 6 on webmii."


Wait, I need a bigger emoticon for this.

There we go. Click it to go get one.

I think I've been pretty lax about this for months. I don't bug readers with this every day or week, I mostly make a joke of it and then let it drop, and I haven't yet really questioned it. But today I started wondering- Who owns Webmii? And from there I went on one of my little free association digs and wound up in a strange place. And before we get started, just in case one of you begs off well, mistakes can happen, just keep that in mind when you believe FACT CHECKERS without checking it out for yourself. Because as an autist, I'm a natural born fact checker. It seems to be my job on this planet to call out the incongruity around me, and this particular incongruity is feeling pretty personal.

Anyone can go on a search trail and get screen snips like this.

The only thing weirder about this kind of search is the idea that Lily Trucking is hiring, according to the Juarez site, and Lily Depp popped into my mind because she's from France and probably deep in the Illuminati's agenda as a sleeper, probably like many other A-list celebs. Free associating through the internet is as strange as reading a Dirk Gently novel.

At any rate, that is a pretty big 'mistake', if it truly is one. Don't ever put fact checker in my face again.

How does a phone number for a truck driving school in the U.S. wind up on a website description for a social media ranker in France?

And why isn't that the same number they use on the truck driving school website to contact them, even though it led to them?

I find all kinds of stuff through phone numbers, I just rarely share. Some of the stuff I find is pretty interesting. I once got a phone call (I didn't pick up) that I could trace locally and clearly see on street view that had 3 different resident histories that didn't match, and the house was clearly bought out and set up to do nothing but make untraceable automated phone calls. Except there's always a way to see around 'untraceable'. And then I posted a pic of it on my blog that same day and said stop calling me. They never called back.

You tell me what all this means.

I think phone numbers are more than phone numbers. It's like an underground networking system that gets coded through the web, and all the little boofs on the phone number data sites aren't really boofs at all, because when you really LOOK at phone number data sites, many of them are just another form of data collection scamming designed to either throw you off or hook you in. Phone numbers aren't always the truth.

Do I need to say that again?

Phone numbers (webmii) aren't always the truth (truck driving school).

So what are they?

Because if you really pay attention (like an autistic person {me}), these weird mistakes are way too prolific to be mistakes.

But back to Janika Banks and Webmii. And all the other social media sites. Looks pretty personal to me.

Ok, that was fun. I need a video now before I run off and eat supper. Oh what the heck, have one of my fave playlists again. I wasn't watching the time and I gotta scram.


click to check out a flower tour

My kiddo calls her birthday my momversary. 😁 This is my 38th momversary.

Today is rain most of the day and getting groceries. I'm good with that.

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

this has felt like Monday all day to me

So my thumb isn't broken. Sure has felt like it. The dr is going with ligament damage and I'm supposed to be nice to my thumb and let it rest.

But the spire is still open, the new cult of the phoenix event started this morning, and the province tournaments start back up in 5 hours.

I met a person over the weekend who actually goes for the gold, runs cities on all 8 worlds. I run cities on only 4 out of 8 and it's all I can do to keep up with real life. I just needed that to keep me off social so I won't get invested in unresolvable conflicts. Better to throw it all away on the spire.

About 8 or so of my phone apps went crazy last night crashing over and over, finally just did updates this morning, had to replace my messenger app with something else. At first I was all excited like it's habbening, but nothing else went down, so... Wonder if anyone else's stuff did that and they got all excited like me. Nothing like a bunch of people feeling deliriously thrilled that their apps are crashing. We really do need technocrazy (👈 oh wow, that's a cool typo for technocracy) to come crashing down a bit if we're going to continue with any kind of freedoms. The sheeple that don't get that are losing their ability to homo sapien sapien. A new species is arising, like home sapien techian, a bunch of tech dependent cyborg hive mind programmed drones. Some people say it's already too late for a scary percentage of the world population.

I found a new potato bread recipe yesterday that I'm really liking. I used gluten free bisquick in place of the flour, baking powder, and salt. Good flavor, good bread texture, toasts up well in the oven. It made enough to freeze back a bunch. Oh, and roasted potatoes work fine in that. I had put a bunch of potatoes in with a roast over the weekend, mashed the cold ones up and used that for the recipe.

Hang on, I keep being interrupted by magic eggs crashing to the ground. "A magic egg has crashed to the ground!" Oh, my.

That looks like a really big egg. Hope no one was killed.

Hi. (was talking to blogger, not you guys, since everything I do seems to be monitored in a synchronous fashion)

I saw that 11000 110 etc thing in the game while I was listening to Juan O Savin (and this other one). All the numbers were 1s and 0s and repeated.


Wish I'd gotten a screenshot.

11000 1100 110 110  =  110001100110110

I guess it's part of the game.

Is it meaningless? 

My thought. Nothing is meaningless. Synchronicity rules out meaninglessness. Timing, perhaps. The 'coincidence' of timing something so that it's curiously not inevitable.

Well, this is pretty meaningless. 😂

Legit. I'm a dump zone. People been doing this for years. I used to be like that, I get it, but you go back and read your own crap enough, you realize adding to the overall ugly of the world doesn't make it prettier.

You guys didn't see the lengthy dump history in that ongoing DM. Goes back to 10-6-20. He played with me for hours that first day till he found out how old I am.

For any kind of context, this is what happens when a person becomes so attached to one thing that they obsessively obsess about it. Not exactly healthy. But I don't know his situation, so maybe it's his survival tool that keeps him outa trubba in general, like blogging does me. We can't all spring forth and conquer normal avenues in life.

That's probably why I tolerate people dumping on me longer than I should.

Back to now! Time is super flying by with so much going on today in Elvenar, but I got bathrooms deep cleaned and laundry started in between workshop countdowns across four cities, so I feel like I'm rockin it. 

My chicky cam. Their little tails are growing fast now.

Time just very seriously passed while I had onions, tomatoes, and garlic bubbling away, I'm sure you guys didn't even notice. Not sure what kind of mood I'm in, but The Flash is on tonight.

I wonder if anyone has broken down the physics of the speeding bullet in this scene, could it really kill someone who is in full speed force mode? Because the bullet would be in flashtime. Wouldn't Thawne have been able to feel it start penetrating and, I dunno, MOVE OVER? To him it would've been going pretty slow.

It's the little things...

Yeah, I used to argue all kinds of physics on scifi forums. I was a little ticked about the Admiral Marcus hyperspace scenes for several reasons, but I won't start that right now. Lemme get back to The Flash, hang on.

I reeeeally wanna get into the singularity that is Eobard as a designer baby against all the multiplicity of Wellseses, but I won't start that right now, either. Harrisons are a dime a dozen, Eobard pretty much made a point of that. Too bad no one really launched into the psychopathy of it.

Yeah, kind of in a cantankerous mood, aren't I? The ups and downs, as it were. Can't be hypomanic every day, can we? Good thing I have Elvenar to keep me busy so I don't pester people about the little things. 😂😁😄 Scott was wise pulling me into that one.

Oldies but goodies.

This just dropped today.

And for old times' sake... 

(:edit: Ok, did that bother anyone? It should have been old times' sakes or old time's sake, right, but I'm going to leave it like that because I still feel cantankerous.)

Sunday, March 21, 2021

fever tables


Couple weeks ago a biscuit can exploded in my hand right up against the inner thumb knuckle, which went numb instantly. I applied a little ice pack right away and kept the swelling down, but it was bad enough that I couldn't bend or use my thumb for a couple of days. It gradually seemed to recover, and a week later I was using it pretty normally. Alas, I am very hard on working my hands half to death, so over another week I guess I overworked to the point where that thumb very suddenly swelled up so hard that I not only couldn't use that thumb for anything again, but any movement I made at all was very painful. Took a couple days to get in for xray, and they seem to be backlogged or something because it's been 3 days since and I still don't know, but the doctor was concerned that the bone might actually be cracked, based on the exact location of the pain, and if not that, then a tendon has been severely injured. In either case, I was commanded to REST THAT THUMB, so when I got home I immediately picked up a baby again... 😂 

I couldn't pick babies up for years because of my arms. One little bitty thumb isn't going to stop me picking up a baby now.

The most interesting part of that entire experience was the clinic. When I walked in, the 'fever tables' were gone, no crew taking temps, asking questions, and handing out little stickers to wear. Since that had been in place since last summer, I figured the statewide mask thing had expired or lifted or something, since a number of states are easing back toward normal now with only 3 feet distance and stuff (still making no sense at all...), so I pulled my gaitor off my face and continued up the elevator.

The check-in person at the row of computers nearly hyperventilated in her own mask, if that is even possible, when she saw me without mine, nearly whisper-screaming at me to please put my mask on. She even got shaky as she checked me in, and I couldn't tell if it was genuine fear of instant death by invisible monster just waiting to launch an attack on her through the glass between us or lack of good air, but apparently that one reaction affected the entire floor of patients, because when I went to look for a seat, every fully masked face there was staring at me wide-eyed. Was I insane???? Was I that big of an idiot??? 

The following blurb is from an excellent think piece by Parisse Deza.

How did we create this ongoing experience in the first place?

Through repeated trauma and resultant pain and confusion, we forgot what we innately are while here in 3D, and this slowed the vibration of third dimensional living to the point where things seemed almost never to change. This unresolved pain keeps us from thinking and acting rightly, from our true nature. Instead of using our calm natural mind and following guidance from the Source that created us, we follow the lizard mind of fear and separation. When we behave this way as a group we create unreal suffering for ourselves. Then, caught in the victim-oppressor dynamic, we try to fight our way out.

Or protest and plead for mercy.

Currently, many people are protesting against mask mandates and lockdowns. Does the dominating four percent of psychopathic overlords really make the world lockdown? Or does the world lockdown because programmed peoples obey overlords? If you are looking to overthrow overlords so you can be free, you are misunderstanding the whole situation. As a victim to our own victim issues, entreating our oppressors to release us from the prison of our self-imposed belief limitations is lunatic. One must change one's mind, attitude, and behavior to change one's experience.

Those who have ears will hear. Everyone has to find out for themselves.

So, If Fighting Is Not The Way, What Is The Way?

Standing up for truth and acting that way. Standing up for your freedom, not fighting for it. Being your freedom. Acting your freedom. This is where it gets tricky to practice, because it is a combination of "civil disobedience" and "compliance" accompanied by an inner state of knowing that we are inherently free anyway. To be poised and calm, either wearing a mask or not, puts one in a position of power. One must be honest enough with oneself to know what to do when. These experiences are here to force us to get clear about what we are and to act that way.

"Build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete." And then use that one instead.

Warrior mentality is obsolete. Ego mind thinking is obsolete. We are replacing it with natural mind and unity consciousness. Spirit is orchestrating this process for us. That is what we mean when we say the energies are raising on our planet.

Those with an obsessive focus on fighting do not yet realize that all the actual gains made so far in becoming free have not been accomplished by fighting; they have been accomplished by changes made in awareness and vibration that literally, through the power of thought energy, made it possible for changes in the material world, because the rule is: "First in the mind, then in the body."

We are living in an energy field that responds to our thoughts. If we are thinking, "I am being victimized and I feel bad and to feel better I have to fight for my freedom and control this adversary," then we have created opposition and are in a fight we are doomed to lose. This is the trap of thinking in third-dimensional patterns. And the only way to get out of those patterns is to dis-identify with being a victim to circumstances. It is tricky to imagine reality being something other than what it looks like it is to our third dimensional mind, but that is the key to creating something that isn't there yet - we have to act as if what we want is already real. The third and fourth dimensional realities are characterized by duality, not unity, and are dense with fear and other low vibrational feelings (including resistance to admitting that we are not really victims). If we are headed to the fifth and unity consciousness, we had better be practicing that way of thinking.

What Unifying Actually Does In Practice

A hundred years ago, the disparate masses of three hundred million Indians were being controlled by one hundred thousand British. They were organized by Gandhi to act as a whole, a unified group who simply stopped believing they had to be obedient. To show both the Indians and the British just how much power the natives really had, Gandhi brilliantly called for a national religious holiday, and the next Monday, when no Indian went to work, the entire country stood still. No buses ran. No factories operated. No servants served. "In the end," said Gandhi to the British consulate, "You will see the wisdom of leaving."

A mob of broken, emotionally reactive souls cannot create what a unified, heart-centered, and inspired people can. They are in two fundamentally separate dimensions.

And so it shall be, when enough individuals have been touched by the Light to see through the illusion - the ruse - that they belong to the system, instead of the system belonging to them. Pain now is forcing us toward Gain, and Spirit is looking for victims willing to wake up and receive its loving Light so they can have a better life.

I'd like to additionally remind us all that Jesus didn't see hand washing as a priority as he walked the earth healing people. I gave that a long, hard think some years ago because I was severely immune compromised for 2 decades.

Germ phobia can be cured with excellent nutrition, good rest, regular sunshine (vitamin D is crucial), fresh air, and by loving and caring for others and finding things to do that you enjoy, because enjoying is very healing in both mind and body. I've been severely immune compromised for decades and I'm way healthier now, I know what I'm saying. Look to your health, and the fear will no longer control you.

We are more than these bodies. We can be more than our fear.

You guys need to realize that the city and state leaders who cranked down on the mask and lockdown mandates were in violation of our CONSTITUTIONAL rights, and they are in process of being outed and removed, right? They caused more lockdown associated deaths than covid caused actual covid deaths.


I pulled up youtube and was in such a hurry that I closed a popup letting me know I had a content violation before I had properly read it, and now I can't find it, and while looking for it accidentally submitted a history report on myself for content... 😂😂😂😂😂😂 

Yesterday I spent 5 minutes pulling a few fanvid playlists back into unlisted, and I guess my other alt content is showing up now and apparently youtube noticed it (finally) or I've been reported, so if I lose my channel, it's a couple of truther vid playlists like these.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrdaw98NJ7Tep3rrEGRTXLaKBy2U5AkaA original Cuomo expose by L isfortheWay, who has other great journalistic digs on her channel that you might want to check, and she's definitely taking Cuomo head on this week in full documentary style research.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrdaw98NJ7TedySdSGKJsBn0Elqt13ANE cabal takedown, this collection was published months and months ago, and you can see we had plenty of heads up that the mainstream media did NOT share with the public even when they knew what was coming, because they control the narrative you live by.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrdaw98NJ7TcZtg6iV3UBrIZLFFZqNVuN Ronald Bernard is a huge deal, one of the top banking whistleblowers, and this translated collection is well worth the time.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrdaw98NJ7Tdy9dWGx_Z_P1zJMq7YvbS0 This collection is pretty much how our great awakening as a planetary species is happening. People who 'wake up' don't fall for the narrative any more.

The last time I got a content violation warning, an unlisted home video of my grandchild was removed without warning. Youtube has made it very personal to the point of ferreting out unlisted videos that don't even get viewed of people I love, nothing whatsoever to do with cancel culture. A few months ago, WordPress blacklisted me out of my own paid for dotcom page after twitter canceled my JanikaBanks account for no more provocation than sharing ancient George Magazine material under the #JFKJr hashtag. I don't even know how I still have a facebook account.

You guys need to understand that this is war between big tech and personal freedoms. I have a premium youtube account, I pay nice money for them to hold my vids for me, and they dictate what videos I can store with my own grandchildren on them. Why? Because I also share other stuff like the above list. Instead of removing that list, they hit me for content warns on my own home videos.

Ok, found it. They said this was advertising and it violated their made for kids policy as inappropriate content, even though I'm not set up anything monetary and I didn't want to have to age restrict that to 18+.

Since they did that, you can see exactly what I was showing you at deepstatemappingproject.com, in particular this poster, check out their free downloads at Deep State Mapping Project (weebly.com), not paid to link that.

You guys know new internet is coming, right. Starlink

Ok, I need to get back to Elvenar. What is my youtube watch trail like lately?

Thursday, March 18, 2021

something about limbs

Woke up with Shirley MacLaine on my mind. I was never particularly a fan, but I remember my mom didn't approve of me expressing interest in one of her books drifting toward new age spiritualism, as some called it back then. I barely kept track of who and what and why so long ago, but I'll never forget her boarding a plane at the Denver airport a few minutes behind me, and before she sat down at the front, she paused and slowly looked back at the rest of us, eyes gliding over each of us in quick seconds before she locked eyes with me, smiled slowly like she found something, and then turned back to face front and sat down. I didn't smile back. Aspienado didn't smile at people back then. Neither did I give it a second thought at the time. I was too disconnected to care.

Once in a blue moon I remember that moment, and I wonder why she smiled at me. It didn't seem like the usual smiling at a stranger looking at you kind of thing. Maybe she saw me glowing or something, I dunno. I've been told I glow. I've never felt like I could entirely fit into this body, and I can't hide it. Other people I didn't know have looked at me like that in passing, too, like they recognized something.

A number of years ago I wrote about how people I've never met and didn't know would walk up to me in public places and start pouring out their hearts or life stories and ask me what I thought. It happened so often that I took for granted that we must somehow know each other from beyond this life, and once I plugged into assessing life reviews on the fly like that, it became pretty obvious they automatically recognized somehow that I'm here as a sort of touch base. It's like 'how am I doing in this round' kind of thing. Some people feel emotionally overburdened and don't know what to think of that, and since I'm so disconnected from my own emotions most of the time, I seem able to objectively peer review and assure others that they're still on track and doing pretty well figuring their stuff out. Anyone who has gotten to know me better than a one day meetup knows I'm actually pretty angsty myself, sometimes to the point of people walking away again, so I feel like when "I" get in the way, I'm a disaster for us all, but when I'm NOT filtering through my super focused quantum me perspective, it's like I'm someone visiting earth in a people suit and my outsider perspective is invaluable.

I have a friend who has privately admitted struggling with how easily I can get along with another friend who is difficult, which I imagine might feel awkward since I'm not the original friend, but what this friend didn't seem to grasp, as far as I can tell, is that no one has ever had as much access to the real inside me as she has, which necessarily makes everything very awkward between us. I'm a terrible support system when "I" am in the way. I think sometimes I am Plato's rendition of the idea of a cat in human form. I have no transition field between logical support and full blown angst.

I have thought a lot over the years about people in entertainment as a living, a lifestyle, a mode of consciousness, a kaleidoscope perspective, as it were. Even with all the intertwined political pandering removed, with the critics out of the way, with judgment and accolades and self doubt filtered out, just thinking about entertainment as a hobby or career is notoriously difficult for me. I don't seem to have a personal awareness or gift for feeling an audience, for purposely playing out what doesn't come naturally to me to evoke a sympathetic reaction. More often that not, I irritate or disturb people when I step out beyond my tight little guarded behavior patterns to venture into thrill or speculation or rant, so when I try to think about another person's perspective playing multiple perspectives through their lives, I feel like I'm flipping through a comic book in my mind. Everything seems too exaggerated.

Everything we do all day long is guided by the entertainment industry. Entertainment is the middle man between product and consumer, the pencil sharpener for workplace training, the escalator launching mundane livelihoods into better ideas, the soothsayer calming or stirring the masses. Entertainers are cogs in the machine of entertainment. Entertainers are caught in a world of everyone seeing their faces, and those faces taking the brunt of whatever really happens in the entertainment industry.

We all know the entire thing is a facade. We all know it's not real. And yet... it is powerful. Oz behind the curtain.

One of the hardest things I've done is go public and then stay public. It's kind of like an ice dive, like stripping down and jumping through a hole in the ice with no team to pull me out and put a blanket back on me. I don't know how that relates at all, except to point out that's about the closest that I can relate, perhaps.

Entertainment is both raw and sheltered experience, from what I can tell. You let people tell you what to do, you do it, and then you sell it using your face (usually) as part of the branding. I've always thought of it as a form of whoring oneself out, actually. I don't mean that literally, of course. I'm sure some circumstances would support that literally, but I'm not talking about those.

Getting back to Shirley, out on a limb and stuff. I don't think she was being completely honest. I was intrigued back then, yes. I'm still interested in what lies beyond our immediate selves experiencing, yes. And yeah, she was very forthcoming. But true spiritual honesty? My perspective is that a lot was still left out, and that you can't reach the best conclusions without addressing the 'real'.

Shirley lived in the machine.

Shirley looked at me, and smiled.

I don't know what she saw, but I know what I see. And I'm not smiling, because I see the machine.

Time, times, and half a time have passed since then.

I don't know what to think of all this, except that moment was real. It wasn't entertainment.

Sting looked at me in Vail, but it wasn't life shaking. Little bit of context there. I didn't smile at him, either.

Some hours after Sting looked at me, a friend and I actually found the end of a rainbow high up in the Rockies. That was literal, not some kind of funky metaphor or allegory. We literally drove into the end of a rainbow touching the highway twisting through the mountains.

Ran into this vid this morning, well worth clicking over for the awesome comments. 😂

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

pinky's chicky cam and stuff

See this person? 👆 She has ridiculously managed to inflict a third injury on her poor thumb. It hurts. Can't get in for xray until Thursday. Whole thing is swollen and can't use it at all, but still doing dishes and chopping cabbage like a left handed pissy boss. BECAUSE I CAN. And no one can stop me.

While I take thumb breaks, let's see what else I've got in my phone. We got the chicks installed in the Quackerdome over the weekend and then Scott installed a chicky cam. I'm able to download recordings. Side note- I feel like I'm fulfilling my pinkyguerrero dotcom destiny with a live chick cam, since I swiped that to keep it away from a real porn star. 😂

Have I done these yet? 

This next is mine, from oblivious blaze of glory.

Back when I had a LinkedIn account and Gary Graham was my first connection. I still have the email with the request.

Back when my life revolved around statcounter.

I used to get all kinds of direct and near direct hits. So... was this 👇 one of those actually two blocks away kind of hits, or a bored car dealer, or a bored companion of a car shopper? Don't worry, I've already deleted all the direct to house address hits all over southern Cali, and no, I didn't save them to anywhere else. Statcounter was deleted long ago, got tired of paying for it. I'm autist, I like maps. I've been fascinated with maps and globes of all kinds since the 4th grade. I could care less about your actual house and yard. But since I brought this up again, some of you remember that I got after my readers regularly early on for not using proxies, and I was very happy when readers actually took it to heart and I could no longer see their houses, yards, work and school buildings, hotels, and even a library parking lot. I've actually coached people on not using their work stations to browse because that shows up like neon on a good tracker.

And since I brought all that up, here is a partial rerun from 12-20-16 for clarity.
My second transparency thing has been playing around with tracking and thinking about making stats public, which involved tests on IP masking and code reinstalls and turned into a bigger headache than it looked starting out. I kept tweaking stuff, like turning off reports on crawlers and bots, wiping out all the IP blocking (I had that so screwed up anyway, all I could mostly see was myself instead of the other way around), generally just making visitor data more accessible. I installed a second statcounter tracker with different settings to see how they compare, and I was fine with the whole visible thing until I zoomed down on the map and actually got a real location, thanks to GPS on mobile, so there is no way I'm making all the stats visible. You guys can see a graph now, that's basically it. No maps.

Even when humans know how to mask their IPs, if they switch to mobile that has GPS locator turned on and ping my tracker without using data masking, I can sometimes see actual locations on a map. (It's rare, but it still happens.) I feel like I would be sloppy to allow all of that to be publicly available. I mean, some people I know check in all over the place on apps, you can see exactly where they are through the day and anyone following on social media can see that (but you can't see all their operating system data like you can on a tracker map), but other people might not want the world to know the actual building they're sitting in. The problem with making stats completely public is that, even with IP masking, a few people can still be zoomed into actual street and building on the map, and I know that because I could see someone in a named daycare parking lot (thank you, Google super zoom) with a timestamp on it. THAT is what I mean by protecting my lurkers by not publishing my stats. There are several of you I can see coming in from named work places, or I can tell how far you drive to work and back home, and it's not because you're careless or because I'm a stalker, it's just stats and I'm so used to seeing mine. (In the old Lexx days, I knew exactly where my 3 biggest 'enemies' logged in from, and one of them pinged from both a work computer and home computer so regularly that I could tell what her work hours were and when she went shopping or out on a weekend.) Most of you are getting really good at the IP masking, which is awesome, but unless you've got GPS locator turned off (I keep mine turned off out of habit), I can still see where you actually are if you are using certain mobile devices and browsers. Not trying to scare anyone, just saying that's why I'm NOT going full transparency and opening access to the awesome map. I wish I could, but I'm not a jerk. Otherwise it would be cute and fun to see all the pings coming in from cities and countries and stuff.

When you visit other sites, if you see a tracker, always check it out. If you can click on it and go to a data site, see if you can see yourself in the stats. If you can see everything about your operating system, IP, and location, so can the entire world, and once someone who for real deep stalks you figures out your patterns on public trackers, they can see with a few clicks what you're reading and when, and sometimes even where from. (Seriously, when you hang out with a group of writers who code their own sites, it can get that intense.) I honestly would never have thought of this stuff if I hadn't had people fighting over something in the past, and it really did boil down to watching public stats. This is why I love lurkers, and I will always protect lurkers. Some day everything everyone does on internet will be completely transparent just because one day it will legally all boil down to that, but for now, we can still be anons, free to glide through the ether.

No idea why I'm the only kid in my family who doesn't have red hair.

I still haven't tried this because it got so buried under moar screenshots. If I try it any time soon, I'll take a picture and share it.

So another 500ish+ screenshots off my phone!!! Slowly but surely. Would help if I'd stop adding more at the top, right? Like this one.

Since Flash is on tonight and it's all new shows lately, you get another Flash related vid. I don't always agree with Pagey, but it's always fun to speculate.

I know, we need to kill more time while we wait for The Flash tonight. Here, have one of my playlists. What the heck, have two.