Psychrosoft

Woke at at 11 p.m. to share that in my dream, people were really cranky with a company called psychrosoft. Get it? They were mad at Microsoft. I have no idea why. Oh... There really is a Psychsoft that sells gaming computers. Wonder if that was it. See, I do this all the time, dream about stuff and then find out it's real. I watched a few panic hits come in one year when I described a dream about a t-shirt and a highway in a certain area, and then found that t-shirt online. Had no clue it even existed before the dream. I think they were making sure I couldn't name names or something. Anyway, I still got the impression in my dream that it was Microsoft.

So some of the most important youtubes are getting buried in algorithm suggestions. What most of the world never sees when they get on youtube are the #HumanTraffickingStories because covid has taken over everything like a mind virus. Click that to see the hash list, and keep in mind there is much more out there that never gets hashtagged. Also, this channel is full of it. 

https://www.youtube.com/c/OurRescueOrg/

Those of you brainwashed into any other kind of 'lives matter' really need to rethink. ALL of that is a cover for what really matters. Millions of kids have gone missing all over the world every year for years, MILLIONS for YEARS, and they are raped and tortured for fun, for end product, for money laundering, for more money worldwide than drugs and guns (documented by researchers). Kids are reusable money sources. They are also expendable because there are always more to snag and sell.

These screenshots come from this video (which I downloaded in case it ever gets deleted). See if you can find the second kid in the room, which I don't highlight here. I found it before I saw this one.

Loads more on that vid. Ask why nice people in nice homes are taking selfies with bound and gagged children. Ask why this is cute or funny. Ask what this might really mean. And ask why over and over and over until you start finding the answers. You will feel gut punched when your safe little world topples.

Let it frickin topple. Shutting our eyes to this stuff means it's ok for people to kidnap and buy children to use and break as toys. Pshawing off govt complicity to cover ups is no different from giving consent to this sickening behavior. We like thrilling ourselves with lurid history, like the (delightful?) horrors of bathing in virgin blood or the weird dark history of vampire bloodlines, but we don't accept that it exists all around us in the modern world. Why not?

When I try to share my Q inspired research with a pyschologist, all he can come back with is 'orange man bad', and what am I supposed to think? Shut me up with I'm mental and hush now? Accept that the deranged part of the world is the part that wants to expose this?

I will not see 'truth' in lies like that. Either you are complicit in covering it up, or you're just stupid. Either way, once exposed, it becomes complicity. Ignorance will not save any of us.

I have a degree, too. I have a bachelor of science in humanities, much of which is the science and philosophy of crowd control. My research is more valid than someone else's book.

You all need to stop letting algorithms define your worlds. Algorithms keep you floating on the top. Learn to find the really buried stuff. Learn to archive offline before things get deleted. Learn to deep dive for pearls of wisdom, treasures of truth, ORIGINAL SOURCES.

Learn the cost of being tricked into silence. Complicity.

I saw this guy go live. I saw the whole thing. I saw the first interviews. I was paying attention.

as generations flow on

Lol, ran right into this, how to pronounce my name in French.

https://www.howtopronounce.com/french/janika

And I guess from there you can put whatever language in instead of French and play with that. I dunno what languages you all might be, but first consonant gets emphasized regardless if you're going with a hard j, soft j, or h. Thanks to the weird voice mails I get from publishers with very odd accents of all kinds, I've heard my name pronounced nearly every weird way possible.

If you can say hanukkah correctly, you've nailed it. I'm not Jewish, but that is helpful. If you don't use h for j, just say Jan and add ick-a.

Janika is slavic, which is fine since my dad's ancestors migrated into and settled in Russia trying to get away from the Prussian wars. If you like that kind of history, here you go.

http://alexanderwohl.org/history/

I've always loved maps. I made this map in college.

I've mentioned this map a few times, don't think I've ever taken a picture of it before. There you go. I've meant to get it onto a wall for years, but it's still in the original portfolio folder I made.

I killed a spider while I was fetching that. 😅 😬

The best part about the sleepover last night was she conked out early without any prompting. 😁 She gets hyper excitable, and she made her own little cake and wrapped her own presents and built a little fort house to sleep in, and we honestly thought we'd be up till midnight like the old days.

I'm mostly just filling up time but I've gotta go crash now.

I love both these versions.

Yablo's House, revisited

Yum! The other night's leftover enchilada queso filling on nachos for breakfast!

I've told the story of Yablo in past blogs, I'll put them all together here. I've come full circle back to Yablo in games and forums, so this is how Yablo is part of Janika Banks. Yablo goes back to the 90s. When I first wrote these, my various blog identities were not yet linked. Over the last year it's become a little obvious to me in counseling sessions that my blog identities were dissociated parts of me talking back and forth to each other. It's taken years for me to realize this dynamic and explains quite a lot of confusion I've had all my life. 😂 For some reason, the story of Yablo is how I ground myself. It all started with Yablo's House on AOL hometown and something like 7 linked 'rooms' (web pages) in the house, all full of links to special interests for each room. To wit, YabloVH on gravitar verifies all this as me. 

Scroll to the bottom of this post if you'd like to skip directly to who is NOT me as YabloVH and how another person or other people are using {attempting to use} my content, including discord, since at least December 2018 across France, Ecuador, Russia, Iran, etc., something I've been used to for many years from even way more countries for whatever various info they might feel the need to get on me, possibly lately {totally guessing} to get IP or some other info through minecraft and wanting to keep an eye on my log on times to corroborate my daily schedule with other accounts {I've used trackers to do the same with heavy lurkers in the past}, including my q-anon account on twitter that I divulged as me this year. However, THIS IS ME 👇, click this snip to see the page. I was part of two Onelist Sliders fan groups.

Das Foto entstand nachdem Joey O'Connor mit YabloVH auf der originalen Sliders Mailing Liste im Sommer 1999 in Verbindung trat. Joey versuchte in der 5. Staffel die Rolle des Mallory zu bekommen. Aber der Casting Direktor wollte ihn für diese Rolle nicht haben. Allerdings trat er weiterhin als ein "Stuntdouble" auf.

Ok, back to me 'coming out' as a real person on the interwebs.

September 19, 2013

The Yablo Sprite Commercial (wordpress https://yablovh.wordpress.com/)

For many years I was a very private person. I blogged openly and made fansites, but I didn’t talk about my personal life in public posts until 2008, pretty close to the time that I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. I had so many other things going on privately that trumped Asperger’s that I still held quite a lot back in private and protected posts, and still do, even though I’m going more and more public all the time now. I was so swamped with all my ‘stuff’ that I split my life up into multiple blogs, each with its own theme and personality, so that my happy distractions wouldn’t get bogged down with my sad bad stuff. I struggled for several years with splitting myself apart like that, compartmentalizing the drags in my life apart from my exuberances, until I finally realized over this last year that it needs to come back together somehow into one whole person.

That is this blog. Yablo was my first internet name a long time ago. When I made my youtube account, the very first thing I loaded onto it was the Yablo Sprite commercial that I originally found at Clayzeness Whistleworks Notes, Poems and Pointers, and I was the only one on youtube for a long time who had a copy of that. You can see it on another person’s account now.

I dumped that video along with others I wish I hadn’t when I very nearly deleted all my Janika Banks stuff almost two years ago. The only thing stopping me from completely letting my youtube account go was a handful of personal videos I didn’t have stored anywhere else and didn’t know how to get back onto my hard drive before I discovered savevid and Torch. That alone is what stopped Janika Banks from completely disappearing. And then going back to look at stats when youtube got their cool perks going, I was so surprised to see I had over 73,000 views on my channel, what??? Really? But I barely *did* anything with that account. 68,000 of those hits came from one video, the rest of my stuff barely got looked at. I went through the long list of pending comments on that video and cried. Yeah, I kept my youtube account. Sometimes you accidentally do something important for other people when you are dealing with personal stuff in the family. I haven’t been able to go back and read any more of the pending comments.

(I made that vid unlisted as requested from it's creator, but you can still watch it on the original blog post.)

Maybe what’s happening on my blogs is about more than just me figuring out my stuff. Maybe me figuring my stuff out will help other people figure their stuff out. Maybe we’re all in this together, and maybe all this grinding through re-indexing my shredded blogs isn’t silly at all.

Throwback Thursday, this is me when I was Yablo.

November 2, 2013 

The Story Behind Yablo (xanga http://bluejacky.xanga.com/)

Yablo was a funny mix but fit my personality perfectly. I got the name from the Yablo Sprite commercial (there were hundreds of Yablos on the internet back then)

and used to describe Yablo on group lists as being a Vulcan in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses.

I guess I got a little carried away enthusiastically pumping little cult fandom groups up, because one zealot drove 12 hours to my house and camped on my couch for a few days. I really don't encourage that... Yes, it got weird and kinda freaky, but a great learning experience. It's taken a few years to appreciate that even someone playing on a blog can develop a little fandom.

Yablo disappeared and Janika Banks emerged, went through another learning experience, and then Bluejacky was born. After Bluejacky disappeared, Pinky Guerrero slid onto the stage. These have been my main avatars representing myself to the world, but the Xanga relaunch catapulted me into a salvage frenzy that made me realize I need *all* of me to survive living on the internet. I must accept that my Spock & Spongebob mentality is a real thing, this is who I am, and only exposing bits and pieces of who I am gets me into all kinds of trubbas, because although readers seem to love the quirks, eventually the quirks kill the relationships without more context.

I am Janika Yablo Banks, aspie eccentric, with mucho verbal skillz. I am realizing it's up to me to create my world for reals, and that I really do need friends around me.

And I'm still evolving, gathering yet another fandom into who I am. Please to join me in frivolities on twitter, facebook, and my Lexx blog.

June 9, 2014

Yablo's House (xanga http://pinkyguerrero.xanga.com/)

Yablo's House was my very first fairly extensive website that I built on AOL Hometown. Hometown is all gone now, alas. That was before I knew about hit counters and stats, but I got feedback from real people, one of whom insisted my site was dangerous because a variety of gifs on one of the pages purportedly nearly produced seizures after it created a throbbing migraine. Since that person also mentioned her kid being hooked on the gaming and cartoon links I had set up, perhaps this was even an addiction problem. At any rate, Yablo's House was apparently a popular hangout for at least one of the locals, crack me up. I hope to rebuild one day, but not now, obviously in the middle of WORKWORKWORK with a deadline.

As I was developing my platform, my evolution through the start of waking up to myself internally fighting for control with myself started showing up. Pinky (the interface with the public) grabbed the narrative and really ran with it.

August 18, 2015

My name is Pinky, and this is my Haus (blogger https://pinkyguerrero.blogspot.com/)

So last night. You guys. 

I vaguely yap here and there about fandoms, and I insist now and again that I love lurkers, and after last night I'm going to tell you why, but first, a little history to make what I'm about to say way more meaningful.

I've been around a real long time. Before most of you even knew there was a Pinky, now happily swan diving into the Sherlock fandom in between The Walking Dead live tweet reviews...

..there were the Merlin and Doctor Who fandoms saving me.

Before that I was underground in a really really dark place for awhile, and I went deep into Stargate, Farscape, Jake 2.0, Hatter/Alice, and stuff like the Terminator, Matrix, and Cube movie fanvids. I wasn't online, no one saw how black it got, but fandoms rising up and taking over youtube pretty much saved me when I was slipping through all the cracks of medical intervention since I couldn't make it through entire shows for nearly three years. Since that's a lot of stuff, maybe just one vid.

Before that I had the Lexx fandom colliding with the CATCF/POTC and other fandoms. These click to bigger. They're all mine.

 

 

Before that was Xena. I wish we'd had youtube way back then, but this is cool.

And before that was Sliders. This year is the Sliders 20th anniversary.

And before I got on the internet I was doing Curry Toons. I have been a fandom smasher forever. These each click out to their series.

Before I ever had a blog

Celebrity Boxing

Valentine Curry Toon

When I go deep into a fandom, I inhale everything about it off the internet. I am able to use this kind of distraction to get through the nastiest pain, the scariest dread, the saddest grief, the loneliest depressions, and I can take all the time in the world doing it. Before twitter, it helped me feel able to keep pace with the world in general, even when I felt like I couldn't very well be a part of it.

November 5, 2018

$20K hammers and $3K coffee cups (blogger https://pinkyguerreroblog.blogspot.com/2018/11/20k-hammers-and-3k-coffee-cups.html)

Might make a Yablo page at some point. For now, Janika is plenty.

November 25, 2018

pinkyblue, the Yablo way (blogger https://janikabanks.blogspot.com/2018/11/pinkyblue-yablo-way.html)

There really is so much going on and keeping track of that I can barely pull focus back into blog, but here's basic gist.

• I have put a million hours into game server availability over Thanksgiving weekend.
• I recorded the Macy's parade on two different channels so I can look for someone I know marching.
• I'm making a beautiful main course rice dish out of the leftover turkey, includes broccoli, shredded cheeses, crumbled bacon, bits of cream cheese, onion powder, and you can basically fancy it up any way you want.
• I have already eaten 7 bags of brussels sprouts in the last week. I'm not sorry. I pan roast those in bacon drippings and then liberally sprinkle with aged balsamic and powdered parm. You can also fancy those up with garlic, crumbled bacon, whatever.
• I got so busy that hours just passed by in your eye blink.

I'm very tired, but I think I know what I want to say now. And maybe it really is time.

Note- I find that choice of vid interesting given another 'falling down' vid I used a lot years ago on one of my first public blogs.

January 12, 2020

pinkybluejacky- regarding: back seat driver (blogger https://didieverwantitanyotherway.blogspot.com/2020/01/pinkybluejacky-regarding-back-seat.html)

Note- Discussing my probable dissociative discorder. This is only one of several paragraphs.

So Jacky, as a personality, has been around a very long time, known to be extremely obsessed with the color blue and easily infatuated with reams of information. Jacky is probably the closest I can get to seeing my own brain working. I'm not sure that the red stuff is all Pinky. Pinky is an interface, a smoother outer, a thinker working on puzzles. Yablo is the fun one but didn't get a name until I got on the internet back in the 90s, not generally a talker. Janika as a name has been around since everything fell apart in the 80s, but more like an extension of original me (Jan, a bit oblivious). (Oblivious blaze of glory is like Jan+Yablo, which usually backfires horribly once all the fun dies down.) Jacky definitely goes back the longest as far as an 'other' goes. I feel like there is at least one more, possibly two (there were 6 in the car during the lyrica incident). All of this goes back to childhood trauma of varying types and degrees, but it's very important to notate that, as far as I know and can tell, none of it was sexual abuse or maliciously done. I think it's very important to realize that the older gens raising my generation were expected to be tough on kids, and all that was both prompted and rewarded via socialized propaganda and religion. However, when your parents are also mentally ill themselves, this slants a child into a special sparkly place where the brain mildly splits into compartmentalized personality slots that handle various stressors, if I'm understanding the material correctly.

May 18, 2020

organizing a weird little social gathering, perhaps (blogger https://pinkfeldspar.blogspot.com/2020/05/organizing-weird-little-social.html)

Yablo is driving me crazy mocking the scary one (they seem to be friends somehow), so here you go, have fun with this song getting stuck in your head, too.

Back to today.

This has been a window into the Yablo part of my journey. Apparently Yablo is one of my distraction modes that keeps real life from taking over depression.

Thank you, Yablo. 💕

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again, this is NOT me. As near as I can tell, some of these might possibly be related to me crossing my streams when I came out on twitter as a name in a gaming forum behind my anon account. I have certainly been pelted since 2015 across all my public blogs just for mentioning the Illuminati logo, Vivendi, and Q content. I'm not going to link these snips.

This next one clicks to an automatic download that probably captured my IP.

For over two decades I was the ONLY YabloVH on the internet. It seems in the last couple of years I've become visible enough for someone to mask behind my name, and it kind of looks like my name might even be used as a team hack tutorial project. This is not the first time that has happened since 1994. I'm so used to my content being faked or stolen that I've made a game of finding it, as noted on pinky blog with #Brazil, later noted with France going crazy, and finding my youtube vids being hijacked was hilarious. Since then it's been a series of countries, sometimes hitting in perfect tandem, sometimes one right after another like my links were sent out as an assignment. No idea if it's related, but it looks like someone got excited when I came out with a gamer name that shows up on discord. Again, all I know is that is not me and I have no clue what the f*. If you guys run into stuff like that, don't assume I'm a hacker, ok? I've been accused a few times, and not lightly. This is the kind of stuff I can lose accounts over, and I've worked very hard disentangling from this crap several times.

All fun and games.