cosmetic is an interesting word

Not sure why today particularly, but I'm having a very strong memory of being at the orthodontist on a day he was adjusting my braces.

I hadn't really needed braces, but my mom was an easy sell. My teeth were already straight, and the bite they discussed was off so very slightly that it didn't matter. But there I was.

So about a year into braces, I'm sitting in that chair, just me and him in there. He was kind of older and no doubt had never in his life experienced anyone putting braces into his mouth. He was not a gentle man, nor the sort to be soothing or witty at all. The pain I experienced every time he jammed his big fingers into my mouth pushing down so hard on those metal bands around each tooth finally got so overwhelming that I instinctively bit down fairly hard on his finger. Back then we weren't aware I'm on autism spectrum, but I'd been punished into submissive obedience so often that I was a very easy child to push around most of the time. But once in awhile I couldn't stop myself from lashing back out. Yes, I bit him.

And then he reacted by grabbing all the wires at once and yanking on them, jerking my head really hard.

Neither one of us said a word. I didn't even cry. I knew I was trapped until he was done and that the fastest way out of there was to zone out and let him finish.

Every once in awhile, I still remember that day and the pain I felt in my gums, in my jaw, in my whole face.

I don't know why that memory is popping up today, but it is one of many memories of adults around me behaving more childishly than the child. Because of that, I believed the world to be stupid and I wanted no part of it.

Now I see how we were all blinded by strange ideas about cosmetic importance and how quickly money changed hands over it.

I also recall that another dentist that Mom kept sending us to after school flew his personal plane into a cliff committing suicide after it came out that he'd been scamming parents and pulling loads of extra teeth for cosmetic reasons and a nice cash flow.

Cavities are one thing. Fixing cavities is good. Extra 'work' is not always good.

Nearly everything in our lives around us is extra. Think about that for awhile. Think about the commercial push and the cash flow. Think about how you are getting scammed. Think about the pain you are going through. Might be cancer treatments, some of which are actually more harmful than the cancer. Might be extra meds for a condition they don't tell you can heal up with corrected nutrition that also controls your diabetes. Why are meds more important than regulating food industries that make us so sick that we need more meds?

Seriously, think about that for awhile.