-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero at PinkyGuerrero, Pinky, Janika, Basically Clueless & this blog PinkFeldspar, in that order.
-Most of the graphics and vids click to sources.
-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Tuesday, September 22, 2020


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I want to talk to a female psychologist about my stuff. I want a fresh perspective and feedback on the revelations exploding my brain. I specifically asked for a referral to a female psychologist this summer but it so badly lacked insight that I just facepalmed and shook my head. I'm dealing with finally processing a stack of traumas that keeps me fighting falling back into alcohol and self medicating, and I need a literal building change if I want to fully unlock. I'm so close. So I went on research sprees. I found other network services, other people. It's difficult sifting down what I need to where I need it, when I need it, whether I'd even be accepted as a new patient. Ran into an impossibly perfect person this morning, couldn't believe my eyes, someone my age, my gender, even my kind of religious philosophy background (also emancipated, like me), and I was all oh thank goodness. And then I read her blog. 😑 And again, I see another person who has fallen into the national narrative, and all roads lead to BLM. Seriously? I grew up in the most diverse area in the entire country, and I was the lowest rung on the social ladder in my school. Literally a few miles from a reservation, literally bussed around during the 1970s desegregation. I was picked on and even physically attacked by race gangs at school, and the last thing I need working on my personal issues is someone who wants to help me properly own my privilege. 


I'm a dry alcoholic with occasional thoughts of suicide and a pile of traumas and my mental health is being stuffed into an Orwellian all-inclusive world guilt trip by everyone I can find. It's like the entire mental health field is stepping up becoming part of the narrative. 

As someone with a bachelor of science degree in sociology and studies in social psychology, this is where I butt heads with psychology.

If media is televising the revolution, it's not a revolution. It's a narrative. I facepalm every time I run into 'professionals' who cannot think outside that box if their lives depended on it.

Think- If 'white privilege' must be challenged, ask yourself why it was the media narrative for so long. It's media that needs changing. The rest will follow. This whole burning and rioting crap is orchestrated political ends justifying the means. To fall into the trap of self application is paramount to checking your brain at the door of the koolaid conspiracies. Once inside the loop, you cannot logically extricate. You absolutely cannot understand the outside of the box while you are inside the box. I've lived long enough to see other countries go through this in my lifetime, this is all familiar. This is how regimes are overthrown. To blanket a nation's mental health industry (because it really is literally just another industry umbrellaed under big pharma, isn't it) in such an open way is one of the scariest things I've seen, bar none. They're not even trying to hide it any more.

In other concerns, I can't tell if a person presenting in stats is self obsessed with their own media presence in the shadow of someone else's or, super long shot, an actual person in an unexpected area and strictly controlled public info. I was actually trying to dig up specific stats on another person with all kinds of blog property verification fail and just ran into that.

Nothing. I'm not really stalking a stalker. Go back to sleep.

😂 omg, this is bad. Click for a page full of memes.

Wow, no one has ever done an Eobard Thawne fanvid set to Paralyzer. That's incredible. Eobard is the ultimate stalker, you know.

Well, I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move
Because you're standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

I mean, they do things like S&M, you'd think they'd do a Paralyzer. This only has 16 views at the moment.

This was cute.

Ok, back to my own channel. I can't believe this playlist is already getting views. Somebody out there likes it, crack me up. 😂 I need to stop wasting time and go get busy. Laterz.

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