the Lhermitte's is gone

Besides having no memory of how this photo even showed up on my hard drive, I have no idea what it might even mean to me. I have always loved light on water, maybe it's that. The folder is dated January 2019 and back then I was posting on my Janika blog, so who knows. I was feeling a bit lost and trying to find my footing back then.

No gabapentin since last Saturday night, so 5 days in and I seem to be doing ok. I finally caved to gabapentin around 2016ish for unremitting Lhermitte's from neck to left shoulder, which is a hellish nerve pain that I'd had for many years, but we finally broke through that in physical therapy last November and I guess that nerve has healed enough for that pain to actually stop for the first time in two decades. The minor diabetic neuralgias and body-wide arthritic pains are nothing compared to having lived with that so long, so yeah, back off the gabapentin and so far so good. Mild headaches, light sensitivity, odd hard quick pinched feeling here and there out of the blue, but nothing like the cold turkey benzo withdrawal I went through some years ago. Again, this was a very long very slow taper and a final leap off after a month long plateau on just 100 mg once a day. I can't recall a time in my adult life I've had so little pain, so this is pretty marvelous. Sitting for a length of time has become a little challenging again, but since I'm now walking 45 minutes a day, it's really not that bad aside from a few fibro knots popping up here and there.

I've been cracking up over these old ads I ran into on youtube. I remember seeing those and thinking how dumb they were, now they just crack me up.

I'm about halfway through the third season on my The Flash rewatch and finally getting the bigger picture. That was the year the girls moved back in and we had to keep pausing the tv so much, or watch when they were elsewhere because it was kinda scary for a little kiddle.

Very seriously talking timeline convergence in another place. I can't help wondering if that is part of the pain of loss I've felt so many times, and why I hang on so hard to what is right and why I love.