-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero at PinkyGuerrero, Pinky, Janika, Basically Clueless & this blog PinkFeldspar, in that order.
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-Personal blog for Janika Banks.
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Tuesday, January 12, 2021

fighting the good fight

Remember how I used to coach spoonies on mapping out their days with a syllabus style schedule? My most popular post EVER on my biggest pinky blog is summer syllabus. I was very fail back then, but I found a way to wade through all that related depression and plan out my usefulness strategies. In case you want more, here are the next 9 of the current top 10 over there.

And this one slid out of the top ten into 11th but for several years it was pretty solid. This one is a literal syllabus.

So let's get back to today! 😀

I've said a few times recently that the last 3 years of getting up through the middle of the night nearly every single night to keep researching and sharing has finally caught up with me. I have spent this last week doing everything in my power to get back onto a real sleep schedule, needfully at last 6 hours a night. You guys didn't see me powering through the last 6 months on 2-4 hours of sleep at a time, and many times as little 1-3 hour power nap after being up for several hours. It felt very compulsive, and once the rally and Capitol Hill happened, I felt 'released'. I started feeling proper exhaustion, as one should, and I started rearranging my activity level into more 'down' time, more breaks without phone in hand, more time away from all screens, and it took about 4 days but I finally started SLEEPING. And I don't mean real sleep, a lot of people would still feel like they're dying on the scant sleep I'm still getting, but last night I actually got 6 hours without waking up once, and I can't tell you the relief that is on my head today.

I imagine a lot of the digital warriors out there might be feeling the same way, so I'm going to share my recovery strategies, gained from years of spoonie recovery and healing from massive injury and illness over a couple of decades. This is how I made it through the exhaustion and the depression that comes with it. A lot of it is using your mind to game your way into healthy living.

The very first thing I ask during self assessment is whether I'm able to be good for others in the current shape I'm in. If I'm so wound up and focused that I'm losing energy levels and feeling frustrated, it's time to take a break, or several. I cannot be good for other people if I'm not being good for myself.

We are all human. We need sleep, good nutrition, laughter, chill time, basically feel good stuff. When we feel good, we are better for other people. When we have a little more energy, we are able to have more positive interactions, which impacts others. If we are impacting them negatively, we're not helping anything. When I realize I'm starting to feel cranky and fighty and judgy, it's time to take my crankyfightyjudgy self off the radar and self care. Eating boxed cereal and slugging caffeine is NOT self care. That is a grind into deeper exhaustion, and I know because I've done it.

Self care involves a little planning. Menu planning immediately comes to mind. Do you have the ingredients to pull together something yummy? Even if you don't feel like going through the motions, oftentimes just 20 minutes can make a much nicer meal than something out of a box or bag. You get better protein and less salt and sugar when you create your own yum. What is your favorite food? What are you in the mood for? Got the groceries for that? Maybe take a couple minutes to make a list, and then get thyself to a grocery store, because you are awesome and you deserve a nice meal. And since we don't have servants, it's up to us to do this for ourselves. If we don't care about ourselves, who will? It's up to us to feed ourselves nicer food than the crap that Deep State has gotten us hooked on. Remember, they want us dead. Don't play along with that agenda. This is part of fighting the good fight.

Have you brushed your teeth today? One of my first self care assessment questions usually goes to my ickiest fail. We all know what mask breath is like, how gingivitis sucketh, and dentistry is medieval torture to most of us. How about we tame that outa control beast and get a nice new soft bristle toothbrush and spend a minute or two every day moving some of that slime off our beautiful enamel? And I don't care what color or condition your enamel is in, enamel is cool stuff. Be proud that you have enamel if you don't have dentures yet. Enamel is pricey stuff to own, so proactively taking care of it makes sense. Plus, there's nothing like a fresh mouth, right? I also top it off with a good Listerene swish (a little Listerene rinse on your new toothbrush is nice, too, kills those germs you can't see when you're all done). You get used to that fresh mouth feeling and your day actually feels better. I have used brushing my teeth to get through so many anxiety attacks over the years because it feels like I'm doing something useful while I get through a few miserable minutes. Also, if you're on loads of meds (which I've been in the past, so I know), tooth decay becomes a real problem. Big Pharma promotes your teeth rotting, maybe not as quickly as doing meth, but it's a real problem with spoonies because dry mouth and other problems. Brushing your teeth is part of fighting the good fight against Big Pharma. Remember that!

I'm not going to go through everything down an extensive list, but that is a great way to start thinking about self assessment. Get off the emotional roller coaster of fail and faceplant, take a little time to step back and refresh, and make logical decisions about how you want your day to roll out. If it helps (this really did help me starting out), make a sticker chart, just like we had back in school. It's fun and cute and you can see real progress that way. Don't load yourself down too quickly with #ALLTHECHANGE, start easy, get accustomed to making your starter set a daily habit, then slowly add one or two more things as you feel able to handle more.

Part of being human is that gung-ho feeling when we get excited and then that fail feeling when the excitement wears off and then the mopping up with bad habits thing when we want comfort for fail. Deep State fully supports that. Be smarter than your deep state programming! If you feel yourself starting to slide off rails or spin out of orbit or gloriously faceplant into a ditch, go Ah-HA! and pat yourself on the back for noticing before automatically clicking into deep state behavioral patterns. Just because something makes us feel good (alcohol, porn, trolling, eating, etc) doesn't mean it actually makes us feel good. Those are traps! Set by the deep state! They want you alone and miserable and curling up with comfort offerings they pump into your eyes through screens, and they laugh when you fall for it. Don't give them your money! They laugh because you will give them your meager amount of money trying to comfort your fail self. Go open a window and get some fresh air! Weird that no one ever suggests doing that to feel better...

So back to me, I'm finally getting a little real sleep again, and I'm pretty sure the world didn't fall apart while I was taking time away to do that. We need to be fresh, not constantly wound up so tight that the springs break when we finally snap. Also, I made homemade tacos last night, and super fail because salsa never made our big stock up grocery list, and we cannot make it through a possible super military lockdown without salsa, so I may run into town in a little bit and fix that, plus a few other odds and ends on a new little list.

Personally, I still think most of the country won't suffer very much with whatever is really going on. I've heard Visa and Mastercard might go down electronically for a few days, kinda wondering if that is part of the big gold standard banking revalue thing they're finishing up. Whole world is about to super synch on banking, and that is NOT global banking, which is now defunct and bankrupt and that is partly what this war thing is about. (If you haven't see the 👉#PelosiLovesTrump👈 feed, you're missing digital warriors at their finest.)

I've gotta go do stuff. Hope you guys are having a great day, sincere hugs for the hard stuff, and just know you're not alone. 💕 The whole world is waking up now. See my Pinky twitter and strayhen for link shares, scroll down and make sure you are getting caught up. Not sure how long they'll be there, just lost my Janika twitter yesterday over one tiny little thing. 🙄 I kinda started provoking from Pinky twitter after that, because evidently laying below the radar doesn't save me any more. I'm hearing the biggie technocratic medias will be going away anyway, so make sure you archive your feeds if you have long histories full of cool stuff, like I do.

I know, a couple of you are waiting for another #TomCavanaghWatch post as part of the mental health distraction from all this ridiculous political mess. I'll work on something after I've caught up on a little more rest, ok? It's been a really busy holiday/winter around here. 😊

Guys, the white hat alliance is fighting for us all just like this beautiful vid. Imagine the world when we are all really free from the Deep State. Soon now.

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