given name

My brain is weirdly fighting all this pain lately with euphoric bursts. I haven't been treating for rough lower back pain and my brain suddenly started kicking off these mini mood cycles like I'm actually popping pain meds, and last couple days are outright euphoric even with pain. Yesterday I drove in for groceries and back in 2nd person, superchill mode. If I hadn't had the pain keeping me grounded, I'd have been high as a kite. Today feels like manic punched through the pain wall again, and I'm floating on the couch. Not so much as a baby aspirin.

I think this is how I healed through the car crash when I was younger. I just super spaced and floated while my body laid around healing.

I bet this is why medications make me so crabby. They f*k up my natural brain pharmacy. Right now I feel like I took a giant vicoden after surgery or something.

Random fasting blood sugar this month was 108. 112 last month. Still working my way down to 100. I haven't had a really outstanding fasting glucose since early 2017. Yep, when the kids moved back in. 😂

I looked my given birth name up in a gematria calculator. The first is Jewish, the second is English. Totally cracking up. It's perfect.

What's funny is how super common my name is. Since I was given the option to add it to the gematria, I'm assuming some of the weird phrases were manually added by people who thought they were funny. The more phrases or words people add, the more my name will match numerically. The statistics are malleable by chance, even though one could argue synchronistic value in a way. I'm having fun stringing some of those into thought threads. "Time to bow to this narcissistic tyrant. I asked you nicely." On the other hand, I've blogged about being the broken dragon who can still affect history, so...

• https://pinkyguerrero.blogspot.com/2016/01/song-of-broken-dragon.html
• https://pinkyguerrero.blogspot.com/2015/09/brokendragon.html

Positive thinking, guys. I am a broken being of light. Fortunately, my theme in this life seems to be about mending and healing. We create who we become on this world. In this world? In sounds trapped. On sounds like I'm visiting. And this is the way my freedom lies.