-Mobile continuation from Xanga blog PinkyGuerrero at PinkyGuerrero, Pinky, Janika, Basically Clueless & this blog PinkFeldspar, Living in Mirkwood (deleted), and a leaf blowing by in that order.
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Wednesday, October 21, 2020

draft dodging

From 2015. Call me prophetic.


The dreams are getting more intense every night. One particular part was showing me how language is tricked out. "They don't see yet that..." Seems simple enough. But then it came blazing home to me that simply stating that not only presupposes, but categorically states. If someone is using language to envisualize the future, that is superposition cognition. Our brains are quantum. That means we can create through words and visual concepts. By using words in such a way that the future is set and we will arrive, we are establishing that we own the future. 

Think about this while you attend to your daily programming schedule. Pun intended.

I'm not the first to trailblaze that kind of thinking. In making sure my wording was sound, I ran into several discussions on the validity of this kind of thought processing. If that is the case, then our perspectives are collectively evolving, emerging. There are a number of us collectively thinking through these things, thank you hive mind internet.

Honestly, after I got coffee I went straight to roku on my big screen and slid into entertainment updates, which I'll share in case you feel like I just broke your brain and you need a bandaid.





Since I brought up yesterday that I'm finally starting to process all my dealing with Dad passing last year, I'm also almost up to the point this time last year where I finally started the final processing of my friend's murder. (one side of a lost coin) Then after Dad passed, I jumped blogs and started processing years of emotional backlog in high gear. A long time ago when I was in my guidance and counseling degree program, I sat in groups sharing their experiences with parents passing, and watched men weeping from losing their dads. I don't recall my dad ever crying much until he got very old, and then it was more a few tears breaking free during an urgent need to share bible than anything (he wasn't very capable of emotionally connecting otherwise), so seeing men cry was a novelty for me. I've not really seen either of my husbands or any of my previous boyfriends actually cry, either. My life is void of men weeping, except on TV and in counseling classes. Since then I've met a number of people on medias who have lost their dads and openly express their grief and talk about crying all day.

I have yet to cry a single tear over my dad passing. I don't expect to, either. Conversely, I've cried nearly every day since my mom died. Just writing that brings tears. My dad killed my feelings out a long time ago. I can't even feel sad about that. If anything, I'm relieved I can't feel anything about not feeling anything. I thought I hated my mom all my life and discovered after she passed that was a cover for a lot of secrets, and it has taken years to find all the secrets locked up in a hundred little closets in my head.

Moving on, I want to get rid of the drafts in my blogger that I never got back to, so I'm dragging them into this post. A couple of you who know my older content will remember my birthday is on United Nations Day and that I've been keenly interested in reading all the charters and projects through the years. Apparently so have other people. Most people don't take the time and can't grasp that something like this is possible. It's real. Feel free to get to know their 'mission'. You know, behind all the other missionshttps://www.un.org/en/







This was cool.


Learn more here.









I used 👉this taquito recipe👈 last night, they were super yum. 



Oh, here we go, drafts from other blogs. Not a clue what got my attention enough to start this in June 2019. A soul mate themed reflection idea is evidently lost to the ages.

Have you ever made a mistake just so you could feel miserable?
Recrimination is not my strong point. I suck at baiting myself psychologically. People who feed off their own emotions like a drug mystify me. I’m terribly Vulcan in that regard.

Do you believe in soul mates?
I ran into a quote somewhere about how interesting it is that most people find their “soul mates” within so many short miles of their homes. I don’t have a soul mate. I’ve never yet run into anyone who clicks with me like that. Cosmic irony would dictate that most of us either have generic ‘soul mate’ slots, or that our one, true soul mate is on the other side of the planet and born 60 years too early or too late. You know, the next time someone asks me what my religion is, I think I’ll say “Cosmic Irony”, because that seems to answer to just about everything I go through in this life. The faith required is skepticism. I’m really good at that. If I do have a soul mate, that person is in another galaxy about eight and a half billion years before or after my time.

Do you post pictures where you look good but your friends look bad?
I guess the first mistake is thinking I have friends, and the second is thinking I give a crap how I look.

Are you friends with any of your exes?
I guess the first mistake is thinking my exes are normal sane people, and the second is thinking that I don’t wish they were dead.



Wow, here is part of one I never published titled "my biggest pet peeve about politics is the cover up" from Sept. 2018.

One of the biggest questions I've ever asked of politics is why the hell aren't the rich people in the world STOPPING human trafficking?

Well, short answer, the rich are benefiting from it.

This is an attempt to actually stop human trafficking worldwide.

ACTUALLY. STOP. 😶 WORLD. WIDE.

Yes, we have local state and federal agents doing their best to synchronize and stop some of it going on, but we all know they're barely nipping the tip of a very big iceberg.

Several teams of anons, law enforcement, rogue research investigators, and even lawyers have stepped out with coordinated presentations of world stats on human trafficking, broken down by regions and states, to add to official government record keeping. They have real time maps of human trafficking routes crossing borders into and out of countries. On top that, the NSA under this current administration has started going after an international network cover for trafficking that includes higher ups going right up to the top of the structure. This is naturally extending to trade overseas and the way business is done worldwide.

Anyone who takes the time to do a little research can see there has been a change this year in the way trafficking rings are being logistically dismantled so that real arrests could and can still happen, including the arrests of high ranking officials in every walk of life.

Why is this not being reported on the news? Well, it *is* being reported, but in such a way that gets Americans extremely agitated at the arrests, like not giving them a clue that the cover up is finally being blown. Does that make the news networks part of the cover up for human trafficking rings overseen by people with big money or high ranking jobs?

This has weighed heavily on my mind for many years. I kept asking and asking why no one was doing anything about this, when obviously we have so many billions of dollars in the world to get things done.
It never once dawned on me that the people holding all that money were in on it. A great big lid is being blown off and it seems like mainstream America is doing their best to get us all together holding that lid on for dear life. We must hate everyone trying to blow that lid off.

I know people who've lost family to 'disappearance'. I've met people who've escaped trafficking. I have studied it in college (sociology degree), and I've researched it deeply on the internet. It's real, it's all around us, and everyone I know is too easily placated with 'it's not happening in my immediate world so everything is ok'. I know someone who took a baby across state lines and was met at a bus station by state police. This was done for MONEY.

I come from nice and honest people. I didn't grow up like that. I didn't have a clue this stuff even existed until I grew up and met a few people. I didn't realize how prolific it is until I wound up in the middle of it myself during my first marriage. I didn't know how heinous it was until I met people who had survived horrific abuses that still make me feel very ill and angry. A few people know the lengths I went to saving my own child from people that would have raped her repeatedly as she was growing up.

I didn't travel anywhere to meet these people. I met them casually around my own area as I was simply living my life. I realized over time how scary it is to know a list of people who've gone through very miserable experiences with kidnappings and/or actually being used, sold, or bought for rape. KIDS. I know from experience how hard it is to get out of those situations. I feared for my life for good reason.

There is not a soul on this planet who can convince me the 'tyrant' in office is a bad person, although I admit I didn't vote for him. There is a lot of hate going on in this world every time memes roll through feeds. I'm done with hate. I'm done seeing the world with blinders. I'm done judging. The people I thought were decent and good turned out to be very bad. The people trying to change all that are being so verbally abused everywhere I turn that I just pray every day this works and all the people are saved from the trafficking.

There will never again come another chance in human history to stop world trafficking. The time to dismantle the entire operation has come. Whether people understand this is what's going on is beyond me. I feel caught between whirlwinds of seething hate against a person who is standing up to billionaires who make money off abusing other humans for sport.

Don't assume a 'parent' with a child is the child's parent. Never assume a child you see in a photo or video clip isn't part of a script to manipulate your world view in some way. Never once think a child is 'happy' because they are depicted as such.

As a child, I was an angel for the public growing up. I asked once what you might think it took to force a child like me (autism) to learn to hold rock still and never react to anything around me. Well guess what. Millions of children around the world have learned the hard way to shut up and act straight. Ask yourself why.

Ask yourself why the world is hating so hard on someone trying to save the missing children, trying to stop more children from going missing. Ask yourself if you like getting that anger trigger every time a meme rolls around. Ask yourself why you were so easily trained to react like Pavlov's dog....

While people simmer and boil over nitpicking in politics, children are being sold for rape. Every time you blow a fuse about something in politics, think about a child being rented out for a gang rape. Got a weird child in your child's school system? Maybe wonder why...

And then wonder why so many rich people in the world are trying to stop him. You'd think they be jumping on the bandwagon since they're part of the U.N. and 'fighting' for human dignity with so much money going into so many programs. You'd think set up a foundation to pay lots of people to make lots of phone calls and having meetings.. um, wait, that's how you set up covers, right?

Human trafficking - statistics and facts

2018 Global Slavery Index

Over 400,000 people living in 'modern slavery' in US, report finds

Trafficking in Persons Report 2018



Oooohhhh, notes from April 2017 on a Sherlock review I never did, "the clue he missed".

water

started with water, ended with water, water all through

eurus & the woman- Irene and Moriarty were in cahoots already

eurus & Magnussen (the shark)- he knew about Redbeard, was Sherlock manipulated to kill to save Mycroft (not just Mary)?

eurus & Molly- how did she know? Moriarty used Molly to intro to Sherlock.

eurus & their mother- Mom said she'd ___ if anything happened to her kids- background as a Vernett?

Mycroft knew this entire web because he was the hub eurus used to connect them.

Mary was killed under a shark tank- visual for 'Magnussen' succeeding- did Eurus control the secretary?

Is s1ep2 still a stand alone story? How might it connect? Who was M? The eye...

Was John Watson a fluke in Sherlock's life? Was he the key to Sherlock's heart that allowed all this to roll out?

Sherlock's mental state- using drugs to think, using drugs to manipulate others, using drugs to regain control over situations- his internal thought process with John. Eurus couldn't touch John in Sherlock's mind. Was that what she was after? How we fit together in our minds.

Eurus in and out of personalities, experimenting on people, playing games manipulating outcomes to see if anyone could out think her. Finally forcing Sherlock to deal with this head on. Her obsession with Sherlock.

Not understanding the difference between laughing and screaming, but feeling the need to illicit emotional response to her out of someone she wanted to feel attached to. She didn't understand she needed someone to love her, to feel loved, and she was trying to understand this part of herself not working right.

She understood that other people loved Sherlock, and his devotion to them. She wanted that, but didn't know how to go about getting it, being born into an already broken mind. Brilliance had its cost.

With this brilliance she could have gone anywhere and done anything, but she chose to keep coming back to a tortured existence, a sort of public display of epic narcissism.

What is being psychotic like?


Yes, by now it's clear that I've stalled about 3 hours away since I woke up. Not to worry, I got laundry started before I got into this. But yeah, I need to go do some chores. I haven't pulled out this playlist in awhile. Go crazy.




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